


Stories Unknown

by Sasswarrior



Series: Kaider Shots [2]
Category: Lunar Chronicles - Marissa Meyer
Genre: Brotp, F/M, Ship, TLC, kaider, kinder - Freeform, marissa meyer, otp, rampion bros, rampion brothers, space bros, the lunar chronicles - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 39,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22514881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasswarrior/pseuds/Sasswarrior
Summary: Pretty much a "Tales Untold" reboot. I'll be taking requests both on here and tumblr. Kaider shots and possibly snippets of other ships.
Relationships: Kai/Linh Cinder
Series: Kaider Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618105
Comments: 40
Kudos: 52





	1. Netflix and Chill

Kai kicked his foot against the carpet that lined his basement, shrugging his shoulders up to his neck as he twisted his fingers together behind his back. Color crept into his cheeks as he dared to glance at the girl who stood beside him.

She was looking about the spacious room, eyes darting from the windows on the far wall, to the couch, to the TV, and finally, back at him. Her eyes looked equally as awkward as Kai felt, which helped to relieve his anxiety in part, though not by much.

Kai had known Cinder for years, creepily watching her from afar since their freshman year of High School. By Junior year they had become acquainted with one another through a mutual friend, Carswell Thorne. That day would forever stand out in Kai's brain, in part because he had finally talked to the girl he was secretly in love with, but also because he had tried to shake her hand while she had stared at him dumbfoundedly. After a few moments glancing between his hand and his eyes, Cinder had reached out and pushed it to his side saying, "Don't do that."

Somehow, he had fallen even farther in love with her after that.

They were both Seniors now, preparing to graduate in mere months, and while they had become quite close in the past year, this was the first time that Kai had ever truly been alone with her. There was no Thorne lurking around the corner, or family inside the house. He was alone with Cinder, and while Kai had been alone with girls before, it had never been with _the girl_ ; never his friend that he was secretly in love with.

Cinder cleared her throat. Kai realized his staring and blushed. And then, to his surprise, Cinder blushed too, but turned her head away from him before he could get a better look at her face.

She walked across the room, not particularly graceful in her movements, but confident. Kai watched, as she sat down on the leather couch, studying her as she pulled her feet up and loosened her ponytail.

"Are you coming?" Cinder asked, turning to face him, her face back to its usual unembarrassed shade. She patted the cushion beside her, and Kai rushed forward, wasting no time in sitting next to her.

Kai plucked the remote from the arm of the chair, clutching it in his hands as if it were the only thing stopping him from shouting his undisclosed love. He switched on the television, going straight to Netflix.

"What do you want to watch?" Kai asked, his thumb pressing the _down_ button quickly, making the little boxes flit by all too fast.

Cinder grabbed his hand, making him jump. He released the remote as he turned to look at her. She tried to suppress a grin behind her usual scowl, but failed as a laugh escaped her lips.

Kai sputtered, "W-what?"

"I can't see what my options are when you're going that fast. Calm yourself." Cinder plucked the remote from his lap and placed it back on his hand, her cold fingers brushing against his warm ones.

Nodding, Kai made an effort to slow down, allowing her to get a good look at all the different movies and shows. After a few moments, he wagered a glance at her, his eyes meeting hers.

They both blushed and turned back to the TV.

"Are you wanting to watch a movie or a show?" Kai asked, trying to break the tension. They normally weren't like this— usually every interaction they had involved a lot of sarcasm and dry humor. But normally they had others around them, spurring on the wilder, less awkward parts of them.

Cinder moved her knees up just slightly, but somehow enough so that they were touching Kai's leg. The sensation sent a jolt through him, and he resisted the urge to wrap his arms around her shoulders and pull her whole frame against his own.

"Um, well, I don't watch much of anything, so I don't really know." Cinder replied, rather sheepish. "Maybe something funny?"

"Alright," Kai mumbled, moving to the comedy section. He himself wasn't exactly a "TV person" either, but he did occasionally enjoy a good sitcom. Or rom-com. It depended on the day. But they would not be watching a "Kai classic" today, as Rikan liked to call them. He did not want to scare Cinder off with his advanced knowledge of every romantic comedy from _Say Anything_ to _The Wedding Singer_.

They sat in silence for a few moments, before Cinder broke it, grabbing onto his wrist as she said, " _Friends_. Let's watch _Friends_. I've always wanted to know what all the fuss is about."

Kai clicked on the image of six attractive Hollywood actors, and the loading sign showed up. Cinder released his wrist, but Kai could still feel her cold fingers against her skin.

"Are you cold?" Kai asked Cinder, reaching to unzip his gray hoodie as he glanced at her outfit of a loose blue t-shirt and yoga pants. The weather had been warm outside, and the house wasn't exactly cold, but Cinder always managed to maintain a lower-than-average body temperature. Cinder shook her head, scrunching her nose as she did so.

"No no, I'm fine, Kai. Don't get your panties in a wad. My hands are always cold." Cinder twined her fingers together in her lap.

"I actually wear boxers," Kai said, causing Cinder to blush. "But give your hands here." Kai set down the remote, not feeling the need to handle it anymore now that the laugh track was running.

Cinder hesitated for a moment, before turning her body and placing her hands into Kai's outstretched ones. Kai grabbed them, pressed them together, and then sandwiched her hands between his own. He brought the hand sandwich down to his lap, pulling Cinder closer to him as he did so. Her fingers were so small compared to his. Small, dark and delicate, yet rough and calloused from constant hard work.

The theme song blared in the background, but Kai hardly noticed it. He was kind of holding Cinder's hand, and the idea sent a flurry of butterflies to soar within his stomach. The whole thing was exhilarating. Then he remembered the reason why he had asked Cinder over, and the happiness began to melt away.

Thorne had been the first to notice Cinder's deteriorating state. The bags under her eyes and the way her clothes suddenly hung loose from her already thin frame. Concern had taken over both boys, as her closest friends and confidants— but for some unknown reason, Cinder only seemed to open up around Kai, despite her much longer friendship with Thorne.

He had invited her over for a "Netflix and Chill" that Saturday, to which Cinder had laughed immensely for reasons unknown to Kai. His hope was to let her know she was not alone— that she could count on him. He prayed that she would let him in, rather than shutting him out as she had with everyone else.

"How's your sister doing?" Kai asked, watching the TV, but still holding Cinder's frigid hands close to his warm body. She was always cold, though she never admitted to it. Whenever he touched her skin it always held a clamminess to it.

Cinder sighed, pulling her hands away from Kai, but making no effort to expand the space between their bodies. "She's sick, Kai. The doctors don't think she has long. She's being really brave about the whole thing, but it's still hard. Especially after Garan..." Cinder trailed off, her eyes glued to the TV as Kai peeked a look at her face. It was stony as ever.

Kai paused, not sure how she would react to his next question. "How's... how's Adri been?"

At that, Cinder released a wry laugh, shaking her head. "Good one, Kai."

"I'm serious," Kai defended, putting his arm along the back of the couch and facing Cinder. "Has she been, I don't know, extra..."

"Witchy? Yeah, Kai, the woman hates my guts. She wishes that I was dead. If I were the one sick and dying in that hospital bed, I think she would throw a party." Cinder swallowed hard, and while her words came out hard, Kai could tell she was trying not to cry.

Cinder wrapped her arms around her middle, as if she could will herself to stay together— force her mind to not fall apart. Kai knew the feeling well. It had been his only goal during his mother's illness. But once she had gone, he had lost all of that control. He had drowned in the sadness, and Kai worried that Cinder would do the same once Peony was gone. He only hoped that she would allow him to be there for her through it all.

"Don't say that, Cinder," Kai said, dropping his arm down and around her shoulders. She flinched slightly, causing Kai to almost retreat, before she relaxed and leaned into his side. All the awkwardness from minutes before melted into a comforting silence, with Cinder curled up against Kai.

They watched the episode, laughing at the funny moments, and making sarcastic comments whenever a particular character acted especially stupid. Cinder had a remarkable hatred for both Rachel and Ross, and their coupling only seemed to make it worse. Kai, on the other hand, liked all the characters fine, except Joey's moments of playboy behavior.

Despite their many disagreements as to who was annoying and who wasn't, both acknowledged a solemn love for Chandler Bing. Cinder remarked that he was hilarious, while Kai admitted that he found the guy rather relatable.

For four hours they watched the show, making it halfway through the first season. They laughed, and yelled and argued— yet all the while Kai's arm remained firmly wrapped around Cinder.

During one of Chandler's particularly funny lines, Kai laughed, glancing down at Cinder to see her reaction, only to realize that she had fallen asleep. Her face was peaceful, her head tilting black slightly. Her hair had all but fallen out of its ponytail, and wisps of brown shrouded her face in curling tendrils. She looked more relaxed than Kai had ever seen her, and the image brought him immense joy.

He wished to pull a blanket up across her body, but feared waking her if he moved in the slightest. So instead, he turned down the volume on the TV and pulled her closer to him, gentle in his fear of waking her up.

She mumbled some nonsense, making Kai pause for a moment, fearing that he had roused her, but she remained asleep. Kai sighed and carefully moved his own legs up onto the wide couch, leaning his body back until his head rested against the arm. He held Cinder to his chest, and reveled in the feel of her body against his own. He listened to the sound of her breathing and let it wash all of his troubles away.

Kai tried to watch the show, but could hardly tear his eyes away from the beautiful girl beside him. He had hugged Cinder on numerous occasions, him being one of the few allowed to do so, but this was so different. Especially when she wrapped her arm around his middle, her skin warm for once.

The episodes blurred together whilst Kai held a sleeping Cinder. His own eyelids began to droop as his heartbeat fell in sync with Cinder's. The laugh track continued to play, but when the "Are you still watching?" screen came over the TV, both Kai and Cinder were too unconscious to care.


	2. Under a Moonless Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Rewrite the Stars, but Zac Efron and Zendaya

"You know I want you," Kai said, a single tear tracing the angular curvature of his face. Cinder wrung her hands together, longing to brush it from his cheek. Her own eyes burned, despite their lack of tears. The tears that she wished would come; the ones she knew would never appear. Her inability to shed a single tear made her feel so inhuman. She couldn't cry with this wonderful boy as fate tore them apart for the last time. She couldn't shed a tear for the end of them.

"I want to be with you more than anything, Cinder. It's not a secret— and I know you feel the same. I know you love me. I know you don't want to end this. I know it, Cinder. _I know it_." Kai bit his lower lip, his eyes turning away from hers as the tears streamed down his face.

Cinder looked away, trying to contain the awful choking noises that were attempting to escape her. It hurt too much to watch: the boy she loved, crying over their failure— her inability to commit to their relationship.

"Kai, I do. I want to be with you. If we lived in a perfect world, we would already be married and living our happily ever after. But life doesn't work that way." Cinder's voice broke on the words, everything within her screaming to end it all. To stop the pain.

When Cinder had taken the Lunar Throne, she had known that it would take sacrifice, but she had never dreamed that she would have to lose the one thing most important to her. But it wouldn't work— it couldn't. No one on Luna would accept him as their Queen, and the Earthens had already shown that they would more readily welcome a cockroach as their Empress than her.

She had tried every angle, but everywhere she turned, she was only met by opposition. There was no way for her to change their minds, and Kai was too blind—too loving— to see it. Only she could save them both. She would make the hard decision, even if it destroyed her.

"Our hands are tied, Kai. The future is set. It's just not in our stars." Cinder reached out, clasping both of his hands within her own. Kai shuddered. "So please, don't make this harder than it has to be."

"No," Kai said, dropping her hands. He turned away from her, running a hand through his hair, messing it up in the most beautiful way possible. He paced away from her, his footsteps echoing off the floor and to the ornate ceiling of the throne room of Artemisia Palace.

When he turned back to face her, the tears were gone. Rage consumed his features, burning all the sadness from his countenance until his face shone red.

"No?" Cinder asked, her voice small.

" _No_ ," Kai said, firm. "You don't get to just decide that this isn't our destiny, Cinder. So stop saying our hands are tied. You don't get to say that it's not in the cards just because fate is pulling you miles away and out of reach from me to this _awful_ moon."

Cinder clenched her jaw, teeth grinding together painfully. He was making this whole ordeal terribly painful. Couldn't he grasp that she _didn't_ want to do this? She _had_ to do it.

"Kai," Cinder started, her control panel scripting that she needed to calm down. She pushed the text away. "I don't want to do this, but-"

"Don't say you can't, Cinder!" Kai yelled, throwing his hands into the air. "You don't just get to decide to end it all. Not after everything we've been through. You're here, in my heart," Kai grabbed at his chest the crisp white of his dress shirt wrinkling under her fingers. "And no one— _no one_ —can stop me from deciding that you're my destiny."

Cinder turned away, unable to look at Kai any longer. He was both the same sweet boy that she once met at the marketplace, and an entirely new being all at once. There was no longer that shyness, but the same passion still existed within him.

"What if..." Kai's voice trailed off, and Cinder turned around to look at him, the flowing lavender of her dress swishing with the movement.

"What, Kai?" Cinder asked, melancholy drying her voice to the rasp of the wind. She longed for this day and all of its awfulness to be over.

Kai placed a hand on her shoulder, his thumb brushing the skin of her neck and causing a shiver to course down her spine.

"What if we rewrite the stars? What if we change what they say, make them claim you as mine instead?

Cinder released a dry laugh that doubled as a sob. She turned around, falling into Kai's arms. He held her tight, rocking her back and forth. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple, and his fingers played with the loose strands of hair falling from her meticulous bun.

"If we rewrite the stars," Kai continued, "then nothing could keep us apart. You would be the one I was meant to be with; you would be the one I was meant to find, long ago, in that market."

"But it's not up to us, Kai." Cinder mumbled into his shirt, breathing in the clean scent that was Kai. "We don't get to rewrite the stars."

"Cinder, it's up to you," Kai's voice was tight, his arms pulling her closer than ever, not possessive, not angry, but afraid. He was scared to let go, terrified that if he did, she would leave forever. "It's up to me. No one else gets to say what we get to be. We own our lives— we make our own decisions, not the countries we rule. So why don't we rewrite the stars, make the whole world ours. Be with each other, tonight, and for the rest of our lives."

Cinder drew away from Kai, taking in a deep breath. He was watching her, gauging her reaction, face terribly sincere. It pained her to watch him.

"You think this is easy?" She brushed her fingers against the satin of her dress, pulling at the fitted bodice. She tugged the long sleeves down, hoping that it would conceal the trembling of her hands. "You think I don't want to run to you?"

Kai stared, lips parted, expression pained. His eyes shone in the dying light, the copper pooling to liquid gold.

"There are mountains between us. Stars converging inside the gaps. There aren't doors that we can just walk through, no matter how much we want to." Cinder closed her eyes, trying to gather herself and all the emotions raging within.

Cinder opened her eyes, watching as the boy before her broke— shattered into a million little pieces. "I know you think that it will work, because when it's just you and me, within these walls, everything's okay. But when we go outside, you'll wake up and see that it's hopeless after all. No one can rewrite the stars."

"I won't just let them tear us apart, Cinder." Kai said, brushing a hand under his eyes. "They don't get to decide who we are, or who we love. It's _our_ decision."

"But how can you say you'll be mine while everything keeps us apart?" Cinder asked, her heart begging both for his words to sway her and for his words to change her mind.

Kai huffed, pulling at his hair. He shrugged off his suit jacket and threw it to the floor, eyes enraged. Cinder watched as he stared at the discarded jacket, reading the pain within the set of his features.

"Then why did I meet you, Cinder? Why would fate throw us together so painfully if we weren't meant to be?"

"Because maybe I wasn't the one you were meant to find. Or perhaps it was for the sake of getting me to where I am today, on Luna's throne." Cinder walked to the ledge that overlooked Artemisia Lake, the one that Thorne had almost fallen from— the one that she had jumped from. There was no sun, but this time of day on Earth would have brought a beautiful sunset. She longed to see a sunset— a real one, with colors of orange and red and purple. She wanted to look up every night and see the soft glow of the moon, not the gentle gleam of the blue planet. But most of all, she wanted to be with Kai, on Earth, living her happiest life.

But it could not be.

Kai walked over to stand beside her, leaning against a pillar as he looked down at the lake. Hardly any light shone, but the final rays of artificial light cast shadows upon his exhausted face. They were too young to be this sad and tired.

"It's not up to you," Cinder breathed. "And it's not up to me. We don't get to decide who we get to be with, especially when everyone is telling us what we can be. We can't rewrite the stars, we can't make the world ours, and we can't be together anymore, Kai."

Cinder slid to the floor, her feet dangling over the edge of the ledge. Kai sat down beside her, the two sitting in a mournful silence.

"Remember when you dropped your foot over this ledge, right after you thought I was about to propose to you?" Kai asked, not looking at her.

"Of course," Cinder whispered, sneaking a glance at him out of the corner of her eye.

Silence sat between them like a third person, heavy and unbearable with its discomfort. Both longed to fly far away, or to fall into the lake with one another, never to be seen again. But it was impossible. So impossible.

Everything was impossible, even rewriting the stars.

"I thought about proposing then," Kai said. "I really wanted to, but I knew that you had things to take care of here, and I didn't want to distract you."

Cinder smiled softly, leaning her head against the white pillar, one arm wrapped around it.

"I was going to propose for real next month, at Scarlet and Wolf's wedding." Kai's voice quivered. Cinder turned to look at him, but his face was turned down to his lap. "I want you more than anything else in the world, but if this is what you want, I'll leave."

Kai looked up, his eyes meeting Cinder's. A single tear slipped from his eye, falling rapidly down, down, down, and into the lake below.

Pushing herself away from the pillar, Cinder scootched her way to Kai's side, wrapping her arms around his neck.

And she kissed him, trying to convey all the hurt and agony through the gentle pressure of her lips. He kissed her back, hesitant at first, then gently, cupping her face with his hands, his fingers playing with the soft tendrils of her hair, just as they always did.

When they broke away, they remained within each others arms, clutching one another tightly. Cinder rested her head on the crook between his neck and shoulders, breathing in her love one last time. He pressed his lips to her shoulder, making the ache within her burn.

"You know I want you," Cinder whispered. "But I _can't_ have you. I _can't_ be with you. We're bound to break, love. We'll crack and crumble and fall." Cinder let out a sob. "We're bound to break, and my hands are tied."

Kai shook and Cinder trembled, but they both clung to each other, one crying tears as the other longed to mimic.

They stayed like that for a long while, until Cinder gained the strength to let go. She released Kai, even as he begged her to stay and the tears slipped silently from his brown eyes. But she stood, wordless, and walked away, never once turning back to look at the boy she loved.

Perhaps she knew that if she did, she wouldn't be able to leave her boy, sitting all alone, under a moonless sky.


	3. The End of the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: The End of the World, by Billie Eilish

Kai stared out at the sunset, mesmerized by the colors: deep orange, shell pink, golden yellow, and a purple so dark it was almost black. The fading light shone on the tops of ornate rooftops, shimmering with a glow that was near-blinding. Everyone was in their home at this point, leaving the streets silent save for the few melodies peeking from open windows. It was all so beautiful— so peaceful.

Glancing to his side, Kai looked at Cinder, her tanned skin glowing softly in the dying light, and her eyes shining a sleepy brown. He couldn’t help but smile as he looked at her, all silent wonder at the country that was now hers. The country that they ruled together. It was everything that Kai had ever wanted and so much more.

“Breath the air in,” Kai whispered, squeezing her hand. The blossoms had finally bloomed, and the world smelled as if it had been reborn. They were on the balcony of their bedroom, looking out at the gardens below. Kai thought that it would be weird to share his whole life with another person— to have all of his things become _their_ things, but it felt the most natural thing in the entire world. It wouldn’t have made sense any other way.

Cinder turned to him, smiling that shy smile she had given him the first day they had met. Stars, she was positively the most beautiful thing on the Earth. And the moon. Out of anything or anywhere or even anyone, she was the most beautiful, and he would hear nothing less.

“What?” Cinder asked, confusion seeping into her voice like the sun under the horizon. Her nose was pinched in that way he knew meant she would be blushing if she could.

Kai blushed himself, embarrassed at being caught, despite the fact that they had been together for almost three years and married for over a month of that time. She still managed to make his insides dance and his brain stop working. “It’s a beautiful day,” Kai said, trying to play it cool, but merely turning a deeper hue of scarlet.

“The sunsets here are my favorite,” Cinder sighed, wrapping her arms around Kai’s middle and laying her head against his shoulder. Her hair, down and free, tickled at his face, and he brushed it away, playing with it softly as he did so. She leaned into his touch, sleepy and relaxed.

“They’re my favorite as well, though I might be slightly biased.” Kai mused, twirling a strand of Cinder’s hair around his finger.

She tilted her head back slightly, giving him her best attempt at a glare, despite the smile creeping onto her lips.

Kai pulled her in tighter, his fingers rubbing against the soft green silk of her blouse. She nuzzled her face into his chest, wrinkling his starched dress shirt, but he doesn’t care. He places a soft kiss atop her head. This moment is perfect, and everything he could have ever dreamed of.

“I wish that this moment would last forever,” Kai whispered into her hair, closing his eyes as he does so. “Just you and me forever, alone in the beautiful paradise.”

Cinder takes in a deep breath, her body suddenly tense. She pulls back slightly, her eyes sad as she looks her husband. “But everything ends,” she says simply, her voice a melancholy rasp.

“That’s not true,” Kai voices back, his brow crinkling in concern.

“Kai,” Cinder sighs, burying her face deeper into his chest. “What on this Earth doesn’t end?”

“Love,” Kai says, without a moment's hesitation. “I will never, ever stop loving you.” He pulls at a soft lock of brown hair. “My love for you will never end.”

“But everything else— you can’t depend on anyone or anything in this life.” Cinder pulls back, her arms still around him, but her face toward the dying sun, looking at the final bits of purple: the only remaining light. “I know that I will always have you— and you me; but what about everything else? What about peace between Luna and Earth? What if the people of Earth never see me as their true queen? None of it is for certain.” Cinder looks down, fear overcoming her face. “The entire world could have ended with Levana. Who’s to say someone else couldn’t end the world as we know it? Even peace and love can’t last forever.”

Holding her at arm's length, Kai takes her in, from the troubled look on her face to her fingers fidgeting; he can tell that something’s wrong. He’s only seen her like this a few times before, and those were all years before— before she had defeated Levana.

“What’s wrong?” Kai asks, taking her hands in his own.

She bit her lip, looking out and away from him.

“Cinder,” Kai whispers, pulling one hand up to brush her cheek. “You can tell me anything.”

Nodding, Cinder swallows, her entire body folding in on itself. “I had a dream,” she confides, her entire body shaking.

Kai holds her in his arms, feeling the clamminess of her skin, and the quivering that consumes her body. He squeezes her tightly, pulling them both to the ground so as to hold her better.

They lean back against the wall, held in one another’s embrace; Kai anchoring Cinder to reality.

“We lost,” Cinder murmured. “We lost it all. Everything was destruction. Everyone died. You called the missiles in to destroy the biodomes, but Levana had left— fled.” Cinder’s voice cracks, emotion seeping into her words. “And we were left there, as everything was destroyed, and the air slowly seeped out of the world. Everyone panicked, or tried to run, and I couldn’t find you. Everyone slowly suffocated— and I couldn’t find you, Kai.” Cinder sobbed softly, no tears marking her face, but the awful wracking emotion taking control of her frame.

Kai pulled her into his lap, his whole body aching for her. He held her tightly, rocking her as he whispered comforting things in her ear. He wanted to take away all the pain and misery of her life, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t, and he hated himself for it.

A single tear slid down his cheek for the girl who couldn't cry— the girl he hadn't been there for.

***

Cinder had fallen asleep quickly, all the emotion of the past hour taking it out of her. She was curled up in his arms, her breathing calm, no longer ragged. He loved how peaceful she was when she slept, a serenity that she never possessed while conscious.

But everything within Kai was turmoil; Cinder’s dream had possessed him, all the horror of it. He could picture it perfectly— it easily could have been the ending. His ending. Her ending. The world’s ending.

The memories of Cinder lying in a pool of her own blood were tormenting enough. Everything about the end of that war had given him nightmares, but nothing of this caliber. He had never considered anything so terrible as Cinder’s dream.

But now it was all he could think of: the impact of the missile, the feeling as all the air slowly crept out of the biodome, searching for Cinder. Because of course he would look for Cinder. He couldn’t panic and hide, or even run for his life. He would be there, with her, and spend his final minutes with her, trying to make her happy. He would let her know that it was okay— that they were okay. He would make sure she knew that she was loved. And that would have to count for something, wouldn’t it?

Cinder whimpered, her entire body becoming tense. Kai pulled her closer to him, trying to comfort her despite the barrier of unconsciousness. He muttered words of love and comfort into her ear, but to no avail.

Her breathing picked up, and she was muttering words of warning. Words of warning and— his name. She was calling out to him, pleading for him to be with her, to comfort her, to stay with her— but alas, he never seemed to come to her.

Kai shook her, trying to wake her, let her know that he was there— he was there. He would hold her, and they could live again, they could be happy, living simply: taking it day after day. And he would love her. He would love her again and again, under any sun, and any heartbreaks that came their way. He would care for her and love her, even if the end of the world was near.

“Cinder,” Kai pleaded, becoming more and more urgent. His shaking of her, which had started as a gentle push, was now something more intense. She wasn’t waking up. She wasn’t coming out of her land of terrors. In fact, she only seemed to grow more petrified, as if falling down a hole that never ended.

“Cinder, wake up,” Kai begged. “Cinder, please wake up. Please wake up. Wake up!”

And with a gasp, Cinder pulled herself out of the inky haze that had played tug-of-war with Kai. Her eyes snapped open, and her entire body shuddered, still tense, but no longer petrified.

“Kai?” Cinder asked, everything about her exuding weakness— something that Cinder never was. He held her to him, his eyes squeezed shut as tears slipped down his cheeks. He pulled her to him until there was no space between them; nothing could get her. Nothing would ever get her. She would always be with him and he would keep her safe.

“Kai?” Cinder’s voice quivered. He wondered if her other dream had done this to her, and how he couldn’t have realized it. How had he not woken the night before? Was he so awful that he couldn’t feel his wife’s pain as she lay next to him?

He sucked in a deep breath, but a sob escaped his mouth. Her world had ended, and he had not been there to comfort her. She had slowly died, and he hadn’t noticed her pain, even as he held her in his arms.

“It’s okay, Kai,” Cinder said, as if reading his mind. Her whole body was still tense, but her breathing had slowed immensely. She had just suffered a nightmare in which she had quite possibly died slowly, and somehow she was the calm one.

She pulled back from him. At first he didn’t let go, but he gave in at her words of comfort and confirmation that she was okay.

Cinder took him in, her face sad as her eyes roved over his face. She brushed gently at the tears on his face with her human hand, while the cool metal of her other hand held his. “You need to breathe, Kai,” she said, causing a teary laugh to burst forth from him.

“H-how am I supposed to breathe when I’m watching you go through so much pain?” Kai sobbed, bringing his hand up to cover hers. “How am I supposed to live when I’m watching you die?” Kai leaned his face into hers, their foreheads up against one another. “Cinder, I couldn’t get to you. I couldn’t comfort you. I couldn’t help you.”

“Hey, hey,” Cinder said, her voice calm and soothing, as if comforting a child. “It’s okay. It’s all okay, Kai.”

Kai shook his head, his face contorting as another wave of tears burst forth. “I feel terrible,” Kai cried. “I feel as if my heart is being torn into two. Watching you in that much pain,” Kai paused. “It killed me. It may as well have been the end of the world for me as well.”

“I know,” Cinder whispered. “But it’s okay. I’m okay. We’re okay.”

Staring at her, Kai nodded slowly, brushing his fingers along her cheek. He touched her cheek and her chin, then her nose and brow, and the soft curve of her jaw. He traced her face, looking at the calmness of her features and trying to instill that peace within himself.

“What happened?” Kai asked, his breathing evening out as he absorbed some of Cinder’s calm. She was unusually calm, especially after a nightmare.

“The same thing,” she whispered, her breath tickling his face. “All of us, in the palace. The end of the world. Everything was madness, with bodies, and blood, and only minutes of air.”

Kai sucked in a breath, taking in her every word.

“And I was searching for you. Everyone was either dead or panicking, but I was searching for you, as our five minutes of air ticked by.” Cinder said, her voice even.

Her face was serene, much as it had been before she had gone into her nightmare. There was next to no light in the room, save the gentle glow of the moon, but he could see the calmness flowing off her.

“But I found you this time.” Cinder breathed, something near elation brimming in her tone. “I found you, and held you. And you held me. And we cried and cried, as all our time left us.” Cinder gulped, a sad smile forming on her lips. “But as we sat there, wrapped in one another’s embrace, I was happy.”

Cinder leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips, all tenderness and love. She placed her hand upon his cheek, and wiped all the tears away— pulling him even closer.

She kissed him as if it were the first and the last. She kissed him, letting him know that if the world ended in that moment, that she would be perfectly content, just as long as they were together.

When they broke apart, Cinder was slightly breathless, and Kai felt a little light-headed, but calm at last. He put his hand on the side of her neck, and she reached up to cover it with her own cold one.

“On our last few drags of air,” Cinder smiled, closing her eyes briefly. “We agreed.”

“Agreed on what?” Kai asked, not entirely understanding. They weren’t exactly the disagreeing type.

Cinder opened her eyes, her lips still upturned. “That I was,” she leaned forward, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “And you were,” she kissed his other cheek, and then tilted backward, gazing at him with all the love in the world. “Happy.”


	4. Someday

_Song: The Life I Never Led by Katie Rowley Jones_

Cinder slammed the door of her room, boiling fury running through her veins. She felt as if all the rage of the world had been concentrated into her frame, consuming her entire being with the fire of anger.

She kicked at the wall, wincing with the pain that shot up her foot. She turned in a circle, looking for something to hit, or throw, or break. But alas, she was in her tiny bedroom— the only furniture she possessed being the ancient, worn mattress one the floor.

Groaning, Cinder fell backwards onto the bed. Her eyes burned, from rage or sadness, she did not know; all she knew was that everything was wrong, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Closing her eyes, Cinder tried to melt into the mattress. She longed to exist as nothing other than cotton and broken springs. She would trade just about anything to live as something that wasn't _her_.

A ping sounded from beside Cinder, causing her eyes to snap open. She squinted, as the light filtered in through her window, despite the masses of math equations written in dry-erase on the glass. She had forgotten that she'd left her phone off silent, having been awaiting news of her sister Peony's health.

But the text wasn't about Peony— rather, it was from her friend, Kai.

A flush crept up Cinder's cheeks. She had seen Kai only an hour before, though at the time he had been rather unconscious on his couch. She had left him there, not wanting to wake him, but knowing that she would suffer major consequences if she stayed. Unfortunately, she had suffered major consequences despite coming home at a decent time. She wished she had stayed.

The feeling of waking up in Kai's arms had been a surprise, though not a bad one. She was in love with Kai, plain and simple, though she suspected that he didn't feel the same way. They were just friends, and had been for over a year now.

Pulling up Kai's message, she read it, smiling as she saw his words.

**_Kai:_ ** _Did you go home?_

**_Cinder:_ ** _Yeah_

**_Kai:_ ** _Is everything okay?_

Cinder stared at the question, knowing that everything was not okay, but not knowing how to say it. She didn't want to be weak, or unable to handle her own problems. But after the fight she'd just had with Adri, she wanted to talk about it. She wanted Kai, her closest friend, to know the truth. But how could she possibly tell him?

**_Kai:_ ** _How is Peony?_

**_Cinder:_ ** _She's good. Everything is fine_

**_Kai:_ ** _Then why'd you leave?_

Closing her eyes, Cinder felt the ball of anxiety within her chest twisting, gaining momentum. It was like a balloon, growing bigger and bigger, stopping her lungs from gaining any air. She couldn't see anything or feel her fingers. The world was tilting–

_Ping._

**_Kai:_ ** _Cinder, you can talk to me._

She stared at those words. She could talk to Kai. He would listen to her. He would look at her with those copper eyes and see her. He would understand, even if he didn't.

**_Cinder:_ ** _Meet me at the park_

***

Cinder sat on a swing, watching as the sun set over the horizon, and listening to the creak of the swing set and the chirping crickets. Everything was at peace around her, despite the turmoil raging within her.

She had escaped through her window, just as she had that afternoon when she'd gone over to Kai's house, and every other time she had left to join an activity that Adri did not want her to be a part of. After years of swinging from the fire escape stairs and dropping into the alley below, Cinder considered herself a pro escapee.

A shadow loomed behind Cinder, and she turned to see Kai. He still wore his gray hoodie and black sweatpants, though his hair, which was usually messy, was outrageously rumpled. Cinder had to withhold the urge to reach out and smooth the untamed locks.

Kai smiled, and the waxing ball within Cinder's chest melted, seeping into her gut and filling her with warmth. This was Kai, and she could tell him anything.

"Hi," Cinder said, watching as her friend took the swing next to her. He pushed against the ground lightly, propelling him a couple feet backwards, causing the set to groan.

"Hey," Kai said in response, dragging his feet against the ground and bringing him to a stop. He wrapped his arms around the chains of the swing, twisting his body so as to look at her better. "So what's going on?"

Cinder sighed, leaning back and holding onto the chains for support. "It's just, _her_ ," Cinder whispered. "I always knew that she hated me, but I never knew how much until Peony got sick. It's like a switch has flipped."

"How so?" Kai asked, tilting his head. The sun reflected off his hair, giving him a golden glow; he looked like an angel.

"I don't know," Cinder muttered. "It's just that I never get to lead the life I want to. I never talk back, or sleep in late. Stars, Kai, I barely even have time to sit down."

"She's terrible to you, Cinder," Kai muttered, reaching out and taking Cinder's hand. She stared at their fingers, clasping one another. Then she looked up into his eyes, and a dam broke within her.

Closing her eyes, Cinder confided to Kai all that had been bothering her. "I can never let it go, but I can't go with the flow. And I don't know why. I don't know why I feel like this, because I want to please her,

but I hate her with all my heart."

Cinder looked at Kai, her eyes round and filled with pain. She glanced down at their hands, and squeezed his hand tighter. He squeezed back, then intertwined their fingers together.

"I never asked questions," Cinder confessed. "I don't dare. And I never wear clothes that could cause people to look at me, or stare. I never rebel, Kai. I want to stand up and yell, or even just hold my head up high for once," her voice came out as a rasp, all the hope lost within her words. "But after all this time, every feeling has gone unspoken, and all my truths will remain unsaid. And you know what?" Cinder asked, tears brimming in her eyes. "They're all that I have left of this life I've never led."

Swiping at her eyes, Cinder let out a sniff. She wanted to crawl under a rock and live there forever, but alas, she was crying in front of Kai. "I just want to live my own life. I want to go places and see the world, but I feel as if I'm stuck, and I'll never get out."

"We're all stuck, Cinder," Kai smiled. "And someday, you'll get away from Adri and be able to do everything you've ever wanted to. I promise."

"I know that," Cinder rolled her eyes. "I know that it has to end someday, but it feels like forever. And I just want to get out there with you and Thorne and do everything I've ever wanted to."

"I haven't done everything I've wanted to," Kai said, tilting his head as he watched her. His messy hair fell forward into his eyes, but he continued to stare.

Kicking her feet against the wood-chipped ground, Cinder said, "What have you not done that you want to do?"

"Well," Kai said, swinging their hands back and forth. "I've never gone surfing, or um," he paused, as if unsure of what else he might not have done that he longed to pursue. "I've never run with a crowd."

Cinder scoffed.

"I've never danced on a table," Kai continued, glaring at Cinder. "I've never really laughed much too loud. You know, that kind of belly laugh. I want to do that."

"You want to belly laugh?" Cinder giggled, her face scrunching skeptically.

Kai pushed his feet against the ground, causing his to swing gently. "Well, of course. But I have never dared to bare myself in such a way."

"You told me what kind of underwear you wear today," Cinder teased, "That's pretty bare to me."

A flush crept up Kai's cheeks, but he continued onward, not wanting to be afraid to fall. "I've never seen Paris. I've never swum naked. I've never been kissed."

At that, Kai looked at Cinder, and watched her eyes widen under his stare. He grinned, causing her to blush. She glared at him, kicking her own feet against the ground, and propelling her backwards a foot.

"I guess I never realized all that I've missed," he murmured, gazing into Cinder's eyes. They were both swinging gently, though in opposite directions. The only thing that kept them together was their intertwined fingers. "And what do I get? More regret for the life I've never led."

The swing set squeaked, singing with each movement the duo made. Their swings were still out of sync, but closer now than they had been before, with Kai's swing lagging slightly being Cinder's.

A purple glow filled the sky in the absence of the sun, giving the world a feeling of peace. Cinder felt at ease as her body swayed back and forth, her hand tethered to Kai. She would have been content to stay in that moment and live there forever. Because he had given her that little taste of that feeling. And she knew she couldn't waste it, not by living in fear.

She needed to let go.

"I want to be brave and strong," Cinder said, pulling her swing up short and causing Kai's to shriek with the sudden loss of momentum. "I want to believe that I belong or that I'm 'seizing the day', and that I'm choosing my own life."

Kai smiled at her sadly, then looked down. "Cinder," he started, the bit on his lip, contemplating. "I don't know what your life is like. I don't know how your step-mother treats you, or even your sisters, for that matter." He cleared his throat, then reached forward and put his other hand on top of their intertwined fingers. "But I know that it doesn't matter where you go, or what you accomplish, as long as you're happy."

Looking up, Kai sighed, leaning heavily against the swing's chain. "I know that I may never surf, or see France. But I know that I have a chance to be happy. Because I know that right now, here with you," Kai paused, looking from her to their clasped hands. "That I am truly happy." Kai tightened his grip around her hand, causing her fingers to tingle.

Cinder blinked, then stared at Kai in wonder, a ghost of a smile gracing her lips. "I'm happy too," she whispered.

Kai grinned at her, nodding his head in agreement.

"Everything is bright and scary and new— but I'll stand tall. I'll walk through." Cinder leaded forward, her face coming closer to Kai's. She stared into those eyes that she dreamed about. She wanted to close the gap between them, and feel the press of Kai's lips on hers. But it wasn't the time. Maybe someday she would go on and stop playing dead. Perhaps one day she'd start living.

She leaned back, turning her face away from Kai and his beautiful face. Cinder squeezed his hand once, and then let go, whispering: "Someday I'll finally lead the life I never led."


	5. Hopeless and Awkward

“Poor Chandler,” Cinder giggled, laughing at his iconic line of _'I’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!'_ She had come to love the character more and more as the seasons progressed from one, to two, and now, three.

Kai glanced at her, grinning. “I don’t know,” he laughed. “I find him overall entirely relatable. Especially in season three. His love life is just in pieces.”

Cinder guffawed, glaring at Kai teasingly as she munched on a handful of popcorn. Kai couldn’t help but watch her, taking note of her every move, and knowing that she could do no wrong in his eyes. To him, she was perfect.

For the past two months, Cinder had come over nearly every Saturday afternoon to hang out with Kai and watch _Friends_. Kai had enjoyed it to a great extent, especially since he was secretly in love with her. But it didn’t matter much; he knew she didn’t feel the same.

It was something about the way she talked with him— as if she thought of him in a brotherly sort of way. Of course she would laugh at his jokes, and allow him to put his arm around her, but those were all things that she did with Thorne or Winter, or any of their friends, really. Sure, she seemed to smile at him a little extra longer, or let her hand linger on his arm for a few moments more, but that didn’t mean _anything_.

“How do you relate to Chandler?” Cinder asked. “His love life is a mess, while you–” Cinder pointed at his chest for emphasis, “–could get any girl you want.”

Kai let his head loll back against the couch, shaking it slowly, his mind screaming from within. “No, I can’t,” he said, his voice more exasperated than the situation warranted. “I’m hopeless and awkward, too.”

“Oh stop being so dramatic,” Cinder laughed, throwing a piece of popcorn at him. She had the entire bowl nestled in her lap, and she cradled it, as if it were a prized possession. Kai had made sure to always make popcorn for her since discovering her affinity for it during their third Saturday of watching Netflix.

“I’m not being dramatic,” Kai whined, only emphasizing his diva mood. Cinder laughed even harder, and Kai rolled his eyes, his heart twisting slowly within his chest. _If only she knew_.

There was silence for a few minutes, save for the laugh track and the funny one-liners that occasionally displayed. Something had shifted within the air, and Kai felt a nervousness growing from his insides. He worried that he had been too obvious with his secret love for her, and that she had finally figured out that he truly was hopeless and awkward, and oh so desperate for her to love him back.

They watched, until the end of the episode, Cinder not making any sound, or even eating her popcorn as Chandler managed to recapture his current love, and end up with her once again. Then, Cinder grabbed the remote, and hit pause, not allowing for the next episode to queue up.

Kai turned to her, his eyes quizzical. She was biting her lip, as if in deep contemplation. It was one of those simple quirks of hers that drove Kai absolutely crazy. Could she _be_ any more lovable?

“Does Chandler ever find someone? Like, someone for real?” Cinder asked, her eyes big and brown and almost sad. She pulled at the strings of her black jacket, nibbling on her lip nervously. “Or does he just constantly go back to miss psycho-pants?”

Kai chuckled, but gently, his heart melting as he stared at his closest friend. He would always be sarcastic and enjoy witty banter with her, but there was some part of him that couldn’t tease her the way Thorne did: without mercy. He loved her, and that made everything he said towards her more tender than the words that he offered for any of his other friends.

He knew that she could handle sardonic banter, but he found it harder and harder to descant in such a manner where she was concerned.

“Yeah,” Kai breathed. “He finds love in the end.”

There was a burning feeling within Kai’s chest as he stared at Cinder. He wanted nothing more than to grab her hand and hold onto it for forever. He longed to pull her close and kiss her lips so softly.

“In fact,” Kai choked out. “He’s the only one out of the guys who ends up happily married. Or even in a steady relationship, for that matter.”

“Oh good,” Cinder sighed, picking up a handful of popcorn and munching on it. She sat there, chewing on the kernels of popped corn, but didn’t move to resume the show. Kai watched her, mentally telling himself that he needed to stop, but ignoring any and all thoughts of it.

“Do you think,” Cinder looked down at her green cargo pants, picking off a piece of a kernel, and throwing it into the bowl. She cleared her throat, still not looking at him. “Do you think we’ll ever have that?”

“W-what?” Kai asked, his eyes going wide. His heart pounded fast within his chest, sounding inside his ears until it was all that he could hear. Was she saying that she liked him? Were his feelings not one-sided?

Cinder looked up at him, her cheeks turning red. “I mean, do you think that we’ll both find love, and get married, and be happy someday?”

Kai’s heart sank, and now it was his turn to look down at his worn blue jeans, a flush of his own heating up his cheeks. He was an idiot. A huge freaking idiot _._

“Of course,” Kai said, looking at her, and trying not to cringe. He was finding it difficult to breathe, or even to exist around her. Looking at her, and knowing that she didn’t like him hurt, tearing at places within himself that he hadn’t even known existed before.

Cinder scowled, though it wasn’t directed at him. She put the bowl of popcorn on the floor, and turned her whole body towards him, sitting criss-crossed on the couch. They were close— so close that Kai could reach out and hold her if he wanted to. But he didn't. She opened her mouth, as if to say something, but before she could, Kai interrupted.

“I mean,” Kai prattled on nervously. “You’ll find someone, and you’ll live happily ever after. Any guy would be lucky to have you. You’re wonderful, and funny, and so dedicated to everything that you do. You’re just… perfect.”

Cinder’s lips parted, forming an _O_ as she stared at him. She watched him, seeming to memorize his very form as he sat there, taking in everything from his tousled hair, to his frightened eyes, and even his rumpled gray hoodie. She just gazed at him slowly, while Kai silently died inside.

Then she swallowed, her eyes fluttering from his eyes, and then down…

Her gaze fell upon his lips, only for a moment— but she had looked at his lips.

Kai, as if on impulse, turned his whole frame, so that the two were facing one another. Their knees bumped together, and Kai gulped. His mouth had gone completely dry, and he wasn’t entirely sure what to do.

“Who...” Cinder trailed off, biting at her lower lip unwittingly, her breath coming out in soft huffs. Her hair was a mess, falling out of its chaotic tail more and more every second. Everything around them was charged, and Kai waited for the world to burst into flames.

Cinder tried again, clearing her throat. “Does Chandler end up with one of his friends?” Cinder asked, her body slowly leaning towards Kai. Now her eyes were moving quicker, darting between the copper eyes and the anxious lips.

Kai suddenly couldn’t remember how to breathe— how to speak. He was only watching Cinder, as she stared at him, her eyes asking him a question.

She placed her hand on top of his, and he felt his skin burn, taking delight in the delicate touch.

“Kai?” Cinder’s voice had become low and raspy.

Still unable to speak, Kai nodded, licking at his lips as he stared at hers.

Then Cinder leaned forward without any further warning, placed her lips on Kai’s.

He gasped, taking in breath for what felt like the first time in forever. He had seen all the signs of Cinder wanting to kiss him, but he hadn’t believed that she actually would— that she wanted him as much as he wanted her— until she had made the final move.

Cinder broke away, her eyes quizzical and frightened at the same time. She looked at him, apologetically— as if she had done something wrong, rather than making Kai the happiest human on planet Earth.

“Sorry,” Cinder muttered, and then began to pull away. But before she could, Kai wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for another kiss.

This time, Cinder let out a small gasp of surprise, but kissed Kai back with a fervor, rather than sitting there dumbly as he had.

Kai kissed her hard, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her sideways so that she rested on his lap. Cinder sighed, hands running through his hair and messing it up spectacularly. Chills ran down Kai’s spine, causing him to shiver with delight.

Through all the kissing, and holding of one another, Kai could only think one thought: that he was kissing Cinder Linh. Not only was he kissing her, but she had made the first move, meaning that she liked him the way that he liked her. She liked Kai, and she was kissing him. And if he let her, Kai would kiss her until the end of time.

They kissed for what felt like ages, both passionately and gently, seeming to revel in exploring one another’s lips. They kissed until they lost all their breath, and all Kai could hear was the blood pounding in his ears. They kissed and kissed and kissed, until finally they broke apart, never surrendering from one another’s arms.

Looking at Cinder’s face, Kai grinned, his lips swollen and on fire from the pressure of Cinder’s. He still couldn’t believe that she had kissed him. That she felt all the same feelings for him as he did for her. It blew his mind into paradise, filling him with an inexplicable giddiness.

“Woah,” Cinder whispered, her voice nearly gone, and her lips rugged pink and irresistible. Her breathing was ragged and barely in control, but she still remained sitting in Kai’s lap, arms wrapped firmly around his neck.

Kai grinned in response, his breathing just as heavy. “Guess I’m not as hopeless and awkward as I thought,” he breathed.

“Told you so,” Cinder murmured, before leaning in, and stealing another kiss.


	6. Some Sense

The sky of New Beijing held only three stars— like three lost freckles on the dark face of the universe. They shown only dimly, giving no luminance, and being near non-existent in a light pollution-filled heaven. But Luna was still bright above the world, no matter the city lights that shone within the region; it still lent its glow to the lonely, starless sky.

And even though there were next to no stars in the sky, two people still stared up into the abyss, side by side, hand in hand. They gazed at the utter blackness, and the soft crescent moon, talking in hushed voices that could be heard by only themselves.

The pair were dressed in finery that didn’t belong in the soft grass and gardened area, filled with orchids, azaleas, camellias, and all manner of flowers. They wore clothes fit for a royal ball, which was quite logical, seeing as there had been one that evening— the first since the new reign of Queen Selene Channary Jannali Blackburn.

In fact, the pair in the grass had attended the ball; not only that, they had been both host and royal guest of the magnificent event. For laying in the grass, was none other than Emperor Kaito and Queen Selene, though those were not the names by which they called one another.

Dressed in a full-length silver gown with an off-the-shoulder neckline, long flowing sleeves, and embroidered with the phases of the moon, Cinder truly looked like the queen that she had been born to be. Her jewelry was simple and all silver, with her fingers decorated with rings of the eight phases of the moon, her neck layered with shimmering necklaces, and diamond drop earrings fell down from her ears.

Emperor Kaito looked just as spectacular, in all red and gold— a vivid representation of his country. Signs of wisdom and benevolence and harmony were stitched into the traditional Chinese garments. He was the epitome of the most powerful nation in the world.

But these two monarchs were still just teenagers, despite their elegant finery. So that was perhaps why they had chosen to lay out in the royal gardens at two in the morning, just a few hours after the Annual Peace Ball. Why they were under a sky of three stars, enjoying their little time together.

Cinder laughed, leaning her head so that it rested against the emperor’s. She was beautiful, despite her hair falling down from its elegantly messy bun, and the soft silk of her gown getting covered in grass stains. Kai grinned, evidently pleased at the soft cadence of evident joy. He moved his face so that he could kiss her temple, mussing his own hair to a new level of messy.

“She was totally coming onto you,” Cinder snickered, snuggling her body closer to Kai’s and closing her eyes. She had only been on Earth for two days, and would be leaving in a matter of hours— she was dreading leaving with all her heart.

“Well, I’m glad that you were there,” Kai chuckled. “I’ll use you as a warning sign from now on.”

Cinder rolled her eyes, and released Kai’s hand. She raised herself up so that she was looking down at him, leaving only a glare to burn upon him. She herself had not found the incident so funny, seeing how the girl had tried to get a little too handsy with her beloved.

“Awe, come on, Cinder,” Kai teased, his face pulling tight in the effort not to laugh. He reached up a hand to pull at a lock of fallen hair. “Don’t get all jealous on me now. How could anyone try to make a move on me when they see how much I love you? All it is for them is a major waste of time.”

“Well,” Cinder sighed, fighting off a grin as she maintained her glare with Kai. “If you talk enough sense, you’ll lose your mind.”

Kai pulled on Cinder’s arm, causing her to fall down onto him, her head resting against his chest and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. “I guess I’ll have to use you as a focal point,” Kai mumbled into her hair, his fingers rubbing soft circles along her arm. “So I don’t lose sight of what I want.”

Cinder closed her eyes, breathing Kai in. She had one arm— her right one— pulled over him, her palm resting against his chest, just over his heart. She liked to feel the soft thrum of his heart, memorizing the beats, and reminding herself that there was one living being that loved her.

“I’m really proud of all that you’ve done,” Kai said, his voice unsteady and cracking, as if overcome with emotion. He squeezed her tighter, and Cinder squeezed back, her head beginning to hurt. If she were human— or at least as much so as Kai was— she would be crying.

“I’ve moved farther than I thought I would,” Cinder replied, her speech only a little shaky. She nuzzled her face closer into Kai’s chest, breathing in every inch of him. “But I’ve missed you more than I thought I would.”

Her voice caught, and it took everything within her not to start shaking with the tears that would never come. Because while she would always have Iko, and Kinney, and occasional visits from Winter or Thorne, she hadn’t seen Kai in nearly a year. She hadn’t been with him, save for the comm calls that were few and far between, their schedules always overlapping and not allowing for them to be together. She hadn’t been with him, or felt him, or even just smelled that sweet smell of cologne he wore in so long; and it had started to kill her just a little bit.

As for Kai, he had been lonely— though his life was the same as it had been before Cinder, save for a psycho evil queen and an incurable plague. In fact, life had been much simpler in many aspects, but more torturous. Every morning he awoke, after dreams of his love, only to discover that she was a whole moon away. And as he sat in meetings, he would think of her, missing her witty remarks and her heart of gold.

They had both missed each other more than either would truly let on, for if they did, it would just be more pain to endure. They loved so deeply, despite the distance between them.

“I missed you too,” Kai whispered, a single tear slipping from his eye— completely unknown to Cinder. The thought of her leaving tomorrow ate at him from the inside, tearing his soul to pieces and ripping his heart to shreds.

“I just…” Cinder mumbled. Swallowed. “I just wish that I could see you every day. I wish that I could be with you, you know?” Her head pounded harder, and she squeezed her eyes shut before opening them again, and turning her face up to look at Kai. “I know that it would all be so much easier if I just had you by my side.”

Kai’s eyes softened, all tears gone, but emotion still filling them. He heard the sadness within Cinder’s voice, and knew that she was hurting more than she let on. He used it as a warning sign, knowing that he needed to be gentle, or else she would close up and shut him out. He needed to comfort her, for he was the only one that could, and this was their only time together.

“Well if you talk enough sense you’ll lose your mind,” Kai repeated her words, a sad smile forming upon his lips. Cinder let out a laugh that was half a sob, wrapping her arm entirely around Kai, and burying her face in the soft ornamental fabric that he wore.

“You know,” Kai remarked, a smirk upon his face. “We could just get married, and you could abdicate, and we could–”

“Oh, shut up,” Cinder shook her head against Kai, causing a chuckle to emit from him. Cinder loved the feel of his laughter, the way it bubbled up out of him and into the world, bringing a spot of joy to all of his surroundings.

Kai stopped laughing, the light dying from within him as he grew somber. He stared up at the stars, their familiarity burned into his mind. He remembered going to Luna, and seeing thousands of them, and being in complete awe over a world that he had never been able to see. A world so beautiful, yet far away.

“I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be,” Kai observed. His fingers were still tracing gentle circles along Cinder’s arm, sending gentle thrills through her body. “It was right in front of me.”

Cinder didn’t move as Kai spoke; she just listened to his words, and the soft way that he always spoke them only for her. He wasn’t the commanding emperor that he had to be for everyone else. He was just Kai, the boy that loved her, and had helped her win a revolution, and held her hand as she learned how to be a monarch. He was her Kai, who was sassy and sweet and needed to be loved for who he truly was, just as much as Cinder did.

“It wasn’t any of those girls brought up in perfect families. It was never any priss girl, who had been raised to be an empress. They were never you. They weren’t you, and your bravery. They didn’t have your goodness, or any of the love that you hold within you. Not one of them was as brilliant, or sarcastic, or… noble,” Kai continued, his speech becoming faster and faster, as if the words had an urgency.

“All those years I wondered if there was something wrong with me— if there was a reason why I could never fall in love. But I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be. It wasn’t out in the normal world, with normal girls. It was right in front of me, in my own city.”

Cinder still remained silent, though her body had grown tense. She was at a loss for words— words to convey that she felt the same way.

Kai shook his head upon the ground, his hair flopping from side to side. “Talk some sense to me, Cinder.”

She looked up at him, her neck extending so she could take in his face. She had worn very little make-up to the ball, despite Iko’s protestations, so nothing rubbed off against Kai’s clothing. “You give too much, Kai,” Cinder whispered. Her mouth was dry as she spoke, as if someone had filled her mouth with rice to absorb all the moisture.

“Well, then I’ll also use you as my makeshift gauge,” Kai whispered back, not missing a beat. “Of how much to give, and how much to take.”

“I’m a gauge and a warning sign?” Cinder asked, scrunching her nose skeptically.

“Yes, because I need you. I’ll use you as my makeshift gauge, and I’ll use you as my warning sign,” Kai turned his eyes skyward, the brightness of Luna lighting up his countenance. “Because you talk enough sense for me not to lose my mind.”

Cinder sighed, settling her head once again upon Kai’s chest, and closing her eyes. She let her breathing fall into sync with his, and they simply laid there, entangled in one another's arms. They held each other, as the hours swept by, neither daring to sleep; they would not waste a precious moment together on something so trivial as sleep.

“I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be,” Kai whispered once more, as the sky began to fade from black into purple. “Right in front of me.”

Cinder squeezed him tight, not wanting to ever let go; not wanting to open her eyes and see the night become day; not wanting to get on a ship to the moon, and leave her love once more.

Kai let himself sink into her one last time, reveling in the feel of her, and knowing that she would be gone within a matter of hours. She would leave him, and not come back for too long. It was enough to hurt him. It was enough to make the pain within burn so bad; it was enough to drive anyone insane.

“Talk some sense to me,” Kai muttered, pressing a kiss to Cinder’s head one last time, before releasing her, and ending their night of being together.


	7. Complete and Utter Bliss

Kai awoke to the sound of birds chirping; they were singing the song of morning, and joy, and all things good— because in that moment, nothing in the world seemed bad. He was in a room that was filled with light: the kind that was soft and warm. He was away from responsibility for the first time since the Rampion Crew had kidnapped him, and the relief was nearly overwhelming. And best of all, he had Cinder there with him, wrapped within his arms.

Her breaths came softly, almost like a sigh at every exhale. He knew that she too was experiencing some of relaxation that they both had become unaccustomed to. For her to sleep in past him was a near miracle, and Kai was glad that she was finally getting some rest.

It had been a long few weeks, what with the wedding and everything. The world had not stopped staring at them for months since they had announced their engagement, and now it was all over.

Cinder let out a slight groan, then breathed in deeply in that kind of way people tend to do when they're waking up from a restful sleep. Kai pulled her closer to him, closing his eyes and savoring this moment of simply holding the girl he loved.

"Good morning," Cinder yawned, turning her face so that she could look at Kai. He grinned at her, then placed a kiss against her cheek. She leaned back into him, releasing a sigh as she did so. Kai nuzzled his face in against her neck, breathing in everything that was _her._

The day before had been one of the greatest of Kai's entire life. Of course it had been long, and there had been a few bumps in the road, but in the end, he had married Cinder and that had meant that the world was good. 

She had walked down the aisle in her oriental red and gold gown, stitched with the emblems of his country and her moon— with no veil in sight. Thorne had given her away, with tears in his eyes and a wink at Kai. They had stood at the altar, and Kai had not tried to stab her with scissors.

It had been everything that a person could wish for.

And then of course, they had made their vows— and Kai had meant every word of love that he had professed. They were pronounced as husband and wife, and then they had kissed in front of the entire world, a kiss that would have made poets weep and artists tremble.

They had kissed as if the world was ending— because it almost had, and they knew what it felt like. They kissed as if it were the first kiss of their entire life, because it was the first kiss of their life together. And after they had kissed, they had stared out at the world and smiled, silently daring anyone who opposed their union to tell them that they weren't perfect for each other in every way imaginable.

But all that could be heard were cheers: the hoorays of their greatest friends, the clapping of their regal guest, and the catcalls made by Thorne, as he wiped the residual tears from his face.

The memory of the day was something that Kai could never forget; it was one of those moments that people live for, and remember when everything else is going wrong.

And now, Kai was beside the woman that he loved more than anything else in the world, and he could have died in that moment, perfectly content.

Cinder brought her hand up and gently ran it through Kai's hair, playing with the inky locks. Kai kept his eyes shut, enjoying the peace of the moment.

"This is one of those moments," Cinder whispered, her fingers curling around a lock of Kai's hair. "That's just absolutely perfect."

"I would have to agree, my Empress," Kai said, smiling as he placed his lips against her neck.

"Don't start on that again," Cinder scolded, and Kai could imagine her giving him the stink eye.

Kai laughed, pulling back from her and propping himself up on his elbow so he could see her face— it was exactly as he had pictured it. "Well, it's either that or Mrs. Emperor Kaito, and that just sounds weird."

"Gah," Cinder groaned, turning so that she lay on her back, staring up at Kai. "Why can't you have a normal person name?"

"Cinder, we are some of the least normal people in the galaxy, and you're criticizing my name?" Kai asked, mock offended.

"Okay, fine, valid point, Mr. Linh Cinder."

"Um," Kai raised an eyebrow. "Don't you mean Mr. Selene Channary Jannali Blackburn? Because I'm pretty sure that's the woman I married yesterday."

"It's just a pseudonym, detective," Cinder hissed, glaring at him.

Kai laughed, then leaned down and kissed his wife. She reached up and cupped his face, her metal fingers splaying across his cheek so gently, that Kai nearly forgot their coldness.

He remembered the first time that he met her at the marketplace, and how he had been so pleasantly surprised to meet the cute mechanic. He recalled the days that he had practically begged her to come to the ball with him, and the weeks after the ball in which he had agonized over her and the feelings that he felt towards her. He thought of the time she had kidnapped him, and how they had shared their real first kiss during those stolen weeks in space. 

His thoughts danced with the memories of a revolution in which she had been so brave, and the days thereafter that she had nearly died. The memory of finding her bleeding and dying on the throne room floor still caused him pain— the kind that twists a person's insides.

But after all the pain, there was only goodness. There had been the ball, and Scarlet and Wolf's wedding, and their engagement. There had been the months since Kai had placed that ring upon Cinder's finger that had allowed for them to be on the same planet for the first time in two years.

And after all that they had been through, both the good and the bad, they were now here together, in a beautiful little cottage in the French countryside. There was nothing in the whole world except them, and it was complete and utter bliss.

"I love you," Kai said, breaking the kiss. He stared into the eyes of his one and only love, and was filled with the purest sense of finally being at peace.

"I love you too," Cinder replied, smiling up at him for only a moment, before pulling his lips back to hers, and kissing him senseless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got this honeymoon fluff request on Instagram, and I thought now would be a good time to write some fluff because the next seven chapters of The Time it Takes to Fall are going to be very depressing and angsty. Also sorry this is short, but I never have been great at writing fluff. (Plus I can't lose my edge heh heh.)


	8. Butterfly's Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *warning!! Discusses needles in the context of a phlebotomy training class!! If needles make you queezy, then absolutely skip<3*

Kai’s hands shook as he held his butterfly needle, but Cinder’s face held no fear. All around, people were putting on hand sanitizer and gloves, preparing to stab one another. Everyone seemed fine, completely comfortable with holding a twenty-one gauge needle in their hands and preparing to stick their partners with it. Kai didn’t know how any of them were coping with the thought of it; he certainly wasn’t. **  
**

“You okay there?” Cinder asked, her eyes wide and slightly concerned. Over the course of two weeks, Kai had grown fond of this girl. Okay, fond was an understatement— he had a crazy crush on his desk mate, and thought that she was quite possibly the coolest person he had ever met, and the only person that looked good in the daily wear of the maroon scrubs they had to wear.

It had been pure luck that he’d gotten to be her partner. He’d only taken the class with his friend Jacin to support him in his medical endeavors. Well, at least that’s what he told people when they asked why he, a political science major was taking a phlebotomy class.

When Jacin had asked him to do phlebotomy with him, Kai had thought that he meant botany. Kai sure had been surprised to show up in a sterile smelling class with pictures of blood and veins around the room rather than flowers.

What had been even more unfortunate was the fact that he and Jacin had shown up late to the first day, and the only two open seats had been on the opposite sides of the room. Kai had taken the one in the back, mostly so he could run out of the place as soon as possible than anything else. But after two weeks of phlebotomy class, Kai was grateful that he had chosen that back seat.

“Uh huh,” Kai whimpered, setting down his now-assembled needle. He found the needle’s name, ‘butterfly’ a cruel joke, seeing how it wasn’t cute, and it definitely wasn’t a joy when it touched your arm.

“Wishing you were in that botany class right now?” Cinder asked, clearly trying not to laugh at him. When Kai had first sat down next to Cinder those two fateful weeks before, he had asked her why there were no plants. She had stared at him for about two seconds, before she had laughed— softly— and explained to him this was not a class of flowers, but one of needles.

Kai had just about fainted when Cinder explained to him what he had signed up for. After the nausea had faded, he had mentally cursed Jacin for tricking him— even though it was Kai’s own stupidity that had led him to this fateful place. And finally, he had fallen completely for the girl who was his desk partner.

“Seeing a flower would be nice right about now,” Kai admitted. “This butterfly really isn’t doing it for me.”

“Yeah,” Cinder chuckled. “Watching you shake like you were playing the maracas with that needle didn’t really do it for me either.”

“Sorry,” Kai mumbled, his ears turning pink.

Cinder laughed. “I’m only teasing you,” she said, her voice kind. “Don’t worry about it, you’ll do great. And if you don’t…” she trailed off, setting her non-prepped hand on his arm. “... then don’t worry because I have a very high pain tolerance.”

Kai looked down at Cinder’s hand, a new nervousness settling within him. Of course he had touched her hand a minute before while searching for a good vein in her hand, but that was different. Cinder dropped her hand, fidgeting uncomfortably in her seat.

“Thanks,” Kai grumbled, picking up his needle once more. “That’s very comforting.”

“Anytime,” Cinder shot back, a smirk on her face.

Kai turned from Cinder to see if there was an instructor available to supervise. His eyes caught on Jacin, who looked more than unhappy to be stuck by his partner, some guy named Carswell Thorne.

While the two of them had driven back to their dorm together every night and Kai had praised Cinder, Jacin had complained of his partner, Thorne. Yet another name that definitely belonged in Kai’s imaginary botany class. Apparently the guy was as cocky as they come, and never seemed to shut up. Jacin hated him with his whole heart, though Kai found the entire thing to be hilarious.

Thorne stuck Jacin, and while Jacin made no sound or even a funny face, it was clear from Thorne’s groan that he had not gotten the flash on the first try.

“Are you ready over here?” Kai jumped at the sound of Iko’s voice next to him. She was one of their class instructors, and by far Kai’s favorite. She was fun, and not as quiet and serious as Darla, her co-worker.

“Uh, yes?” Kai asked, his hands beginning to sweat beneath his purple gloves.

Iko laughed, but not in a mean way. “Alrighty then, let’s do this.”

Kai placed the needle down on the table, and tied Cinder’s tourniquet one last time. He positioned her hand, making sure to not touch the sanitized area, and carefully pinched his butterfly between his thumb and forefinger. He pulled the skin of her hand taut, and took in a deep breath as Iko instructed him to.

Cinder whispered words of encouragement to him, but he could not decipher what they were. All he could hear was Iko’s countdown from three. All he could feel were the wings of the needle and the coolness of Cinder’s hand beneath his own.

“Three… two… one!” Iko counted, at the same time that Kai stuck the needle into Cinder’s hand.

She made no movement or sound of pain as Kai jabbed her with the sharp object, which Kai mentally thanked her for. Rather, she exclaimed in joy, because Kai had gotten the flash on his first try. A little line of blood filled the tube connecting to his transfer device.

“You did it,” Cinder declared, grinning broadly.

Kai let out a nervous laugh, his hands somehow steady as he let go with his left hand and grabbed his test tube. He hooked up the tube to the transfer device, and a little stream of blood entered the container. He released the tourniquet, and then the tube, filling it only a fraction of the way as Iko had instructed.

“Excellent job, Kai,” Iko grinned, signing off one of the boxes on his sticking sheet.

Kai nodded to acknowledge that he had heard her, but remained catatonic. His hands were clammy within his gloves as he pulled the needle out of Cinder’s hand and quickly placed a cotton ball over the top of the puncture wound.

Cinder placed her hand on top of the cotton ball, her fingers gently tracing against Kai’s as he let go. He capped his needle and placed it in the sharps bin beside him. Then he grabbed his tape and placed it over Cinder’s cotton ball.

“Kai, you got me first try,” Cinder said, her voice full of excitement. She picked up her tube of blood and looked at it, her face filled with awe. “You drew this from my veins, Kai.”

“Yeah…” Kai breathed, feeling slightly woozy as he watched the blood swirl in the container. “Yeah, that was in your hand once.”

Cinder laughed, and stood from her chair. She put her hands on Kai’s scrub-covered shoulders, bringing him back to earth. Then she stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to Kai’s cheek so fast that he hardly had any time to recognize what had just happened. He felt dizzy again, but for a whole different reason now.

Kai stared at Cinder for a moment, his mouth open, but no words came out. She let out another laugh, then pushed him down into the patient’s chair, releasing him from her grasp.

She stepped back from him, slathering hand sanitizer onto her hands, and sliding her gloves on. She smirked at him, her eyes squinted as she let out an evil chuckle. “I hope you’re ready for the butterfly’s kiss.”

Kai’s eyes widened with fear, and Cinder tied his tourniquet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this for AU day of the kaider ship week on Tumblr. I'm in a phlebotomy class right now (which is why you should not expect much fic until October because it, along with my AP classes are kicking my trash) and thought that it would be something funny to write. Hopefully it is not too weird. Thanks for reading!


	9. Wild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter to the Netflix and Chill mini series

The beat of Lil Mosey’s song was keeping Kai from doing his English Lit homework, but he didn’t care. It had been a long day, with an abundance of homework, and he knew every word to the rap, so of course he was going to sing along.

He was dancing with his hands, and spinning around in his desk chair, vibing with the beat. He felt better than he had all day, finally feeling alive. Life had been nothing more than school, homework, work and worrying about Cinder for the past few weeks, and he had grown sick of it. 

Kai had barely seen Cinder since her sister, Peony, had stopped responding to her treatments and been given weeks left to live. Of course they still had school together, but their courses were nowhere near related, and lunch was loud and filled with friends. She was also a wretched texter, despite the fact that they were officially in a relationship, and responded to his texts rarely. He didn’t much mind that, but he couldn’t even visit her at the hospital— Cinder’s ‘mother’ would freak— and he felt that he was losing her just a little bit.

And so Kai had existed, doing his work and thinking about Cinder all the while. He missed the few days that they had simply been together, after she had kissed him and they had both expressed their feelings for one another. Those had been some of the best days in Kai’s life— just finally being with Cinder.

But now her sister was taking some of her final breaths, and Kai couldn’t blame Cinder for not having time for him. He just ached constantly with the longing to see her and talk to her. 

At least Kai had his rap to keep him company in her absence. It was one of his guilty pleasures that he would never ever admit to— he was going to be a politician: he had to be more sophisticated, and like Mozart or some other old dead guy who conducted other old dead people ten billion years ago. Kai didn’t really know how classical music came into being in the first place, and in all honesty, he didn’t care.

Kai stood from his chair and moved to stand in front of his mirror as he rapped his favorite part. He pulled the hood of his gray hoodie up over his head and danced around as he mimicked the rapper. 

A knock sounded at Kai’s window, startling him out of his rapping zone. He turned towards the sound, and saw, to his surprise, Cinder. Kai barely had time to marvel at how she had climbed up to Kai’s second-story bedroom window before he rushed over and opened the window. 

For a moment, they just stared at one another, as if they hadn’t seen each other in decades— and indeed, it felt that way. Then Kai really took her in and noticed all that was wrong with this picture of Cinder. He saw her puffy eyes, the bruise on her cheek, and the gooseflesh on her bare arms. 

“Kai–” Cinder croaked, but before she could get out another word, Kai pulled her in through the window and wrapped her in a hug so tight that Chuck Norris would have admitted Kai’s strength supreme.

Cinder yelped, and Kai released her as if she were on fire, fear ripping throughout his body. But Cinder grabbed hold of him once again, engulfing him within her arms.

He wanted to ask her what was wrong— but he knew what was wrong. Cinder would only be here with him if the worst had happened. And from the show of injuries that she was sporting, it was clear that Adri had not taken the loss of her daughter well. The very thought of Cinder’s witch step-mother laying a hand on her sent a boiling stream of lava through Kai’s veins, but he shoved the anger away— his anger wouldn’t help Cinder, at least not right now. 

“Cinder,” Kai swallowed, his arms still tight around her. She buried her face in Kai’s neck, and it was in that moment that he felt the warm wetness of her tears. “Cinder,” he whispered, his voice breaking as he brought one hand up to the back of her head, his fingers gently running through the fallen wisps of her ponytail. “I’ve got you.”

She started to sob, her entire body shaking with all the pain. Kai felt as if his heart had just been ripped from his chest and chopped into a million pieces. He knew the awful pain that Cinder was going through—he had experienced it himself when his mother had passed— and understood that there was nothing in the world that would make it better.

For a long time they just stood there, holding one another, as Cinder cried all the bitterness of her life into Kai’s gray hoodie. Then eventually, the tears subsided somewhat, and Kai guided Cinder so that she was sitting on his bed. 

Without a word, he grabbed another jacket from his closet, along with a pair of black sweatpants, and handed them to Cinder. For a second, she just stared at the clothes, as if not comprehending what there were, or what to do with them. 

She looked up at Kai, her eyes puffy and devastatingly sad. “Can I have your gray hoodie instead?” 

Kai felt another wave of sadness as he looked at Cinder. She was normally so strong— so bold, and not at all broken. Now she was small, and terrifyingly fragile.

“It’s not clean like the green one,” Kai said softly, nodding to the one in Cinder’s hands. “I’ve been wearing this one for days now. Plus it’s a little wet now,” Kai added the last part a bit sheepishly.

Cinder let out a weak laugh, that sounded more like a sob and was accompanied by a single tear rolling down her cheek.

“Okay, okay,” Kai pulled off his jacket and handed it to Cinder, taking the green one from her and donning it. More tears fell from her eyes, but they seemed less sad than the ones she had shed before.

“Thank you,” Cinder pulled on the hoodie over her raggedy t-shirt and wiped her eyes on the sleeves. Then Kai turned his back as Cinder shed her jeans and put on his sweats.

Kai suddenly realized that his phone was still playing Lil Mosey on repeat, and he rushed over to his device and shut the music off.

“You like rap?” Cinder asked, punctuating the question with a hiccup.

Kai cringed, but nodded his head in shame. “Yeah,” he admitted. “I like rap. It’s kind of my…” Kai stared at the floor, his ears turning pink. “...guilty pleasure. I like to listen to it when the homework wears me down.”

Cinder let out a soft laugh, her eyes turning up at the corners. Kai didn’t feel embarrassed anymore. If his dumb choice in music brought Cinder any amount of joy during this dark time in her life, then he would talk about his unseemly taste in music.

“This song,” Kai explained as he sat next to Cinder, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. She leaned her head on his shoulder, and Kai felt her physically relax as Kai spoke. “Is by Lil Mosey. It’s called ‘Live This Wild’ and I think it’s his best yet.”

“Really?” Cinder asked, tilting her head back so that she could look up into Kai’s eyes.

“Yeah,” Kai reaffirmed, nodding his head. Then he cringed. “Well, it’s good. Also it’s his only song that I know all the words to, even though I don’t really know or understand what he’s saying, but I don’t know, I guess that would make me a little biased towards it.”

Cinder chuckled halfheartedly. “‘Live This Wild’,” Cinder repeated, as if it were the punchline of a joke. “You’re wild, Kai Prince.”

“Oh yeah?” Kai asked, a slow grin spreading across his face.

“Uh-huh,” Cinder said, her eyes closing.

“You uh,” Kai gulped, unsure of what to do. “You want to go to sleep?”

Cinder’s eyes opened, the sadness returning to them once more. “Do you want me to go?” Her voice wavered with the words, and she began to draw away from Kai.

“ _ No _ ,” Kai yelped, pulling her back to him. “No, I never want you to go,” he confessed. “I just– I didn’t know if you, um…” Kai scratched the back of his head. He had absolutely no problem with Cinder staying at his house ever. He just didn’t know whether he was supposed to leave and sleep on the couch downstairs, or if he should sleep on the floor in case she needed him nearby. He had no clue what she needed from him in this situation or what in the world he was supposed to do.

“Will you just hold me?” Cinder asked, pulling back the sheets of Kai’s bed and climbing in. “Please?”

“Yeah,” Kai sighed, crossing the room and turning off the overhead light. He climbed into bed beside Cinder, and held her tight to him, as if to never let her go. She inhaled deeply, her face buried in his neck, and then released the breath slowly, as if the sweet wings of sleep had already carried her away.

Kai looked at her face, which he could see only dimly with the help of the moon outside. She looked so serene, almost as if she hadn’t just had the worst day of her life— save for the purpled bruise across her cheekbone. 

Kai placed a gentle kiss upon Cinder’s cheek, silently vowing to never allow any harm to come to Cinder ever again. He wouldn’t allow life to drag her down any farther than it already had, or for that wretched woman who had somehow earned the role of ‘mother’ in Cinder’s life to come near her. He just couldn’t bear her agony— it was too painful. 

Cinder snuggled closer to Kai, as if she could feel his thoughts, and knew that he would keep her safe. Kai closed his eyes, breathing her in, and knowing that while she was here with him, she would be okay.


	10. Pick-up Lines

"Hey Cinder," Kai poked her on the arm, a sly grin on his face. They were in a world leaders meeting, and Queen Camilla and President Vargas were getting into a heated argument as per usual. Everyone else had been sitting there for a few minutes, with only Prime Minister Bromstad attempting to break the fight, but to no avail.

"What?" Cinder whispered, only glancing at Kai before returning her attention back to the arguing leaders.

"Is it hot in here, or is it just you," he asked, voice low and a smirk on his face. He looked especially handsome with his hair mussed up and his eyes sparkling with mischief.

"I don't think it's hot, but I can comm Nainsi if you want," Cinder replied, her face pinching. If anything, she thought the room was cold, and Kai was a baby when it came to cold weather. Actually, Kai was kind of a wimp when it came to any kind of weather that wasn't what he was used to. After spending his whole life in a palace, with almost every day being exactly 70 degrees, he struggled with temperature changed.

Kai's face fell, but before he could respond, Queen Camilla called for the emperor's opinion on the matter, dragging him into another pointless argument.

***

"I really think Queen Camilla needs to retire already," Cinder sighed as she walked out of the conference room, hand in hand with Kai. "Promise we won't be like that? Old and power hungry?"

"Yeah yeah," Kai grinned, leaning in and pressing a kiss to her cheek. "We won't be old and crazy— and I also promise to never wear my lipstick like that either. They do call it lipstick for a reason, right?"

"Oh stars," Cinder laughed, turning her face towards Kai as a full smile covered her features. "Do you think she meant for _all_ her teeth to be red?"

"I don't think she'll become a fashion icon anytime soon at the very least," Kai chucked, squeezing Cinder's hand.

They kept talking as they walked towards their quarters for lunch, hands clasped and laughter coming in an endless spew from their conversation. Cinder couldn't seem to feel sad now that she was permanently on Earth with Kai, and soon to be married to him, and she knew that he felt quite the same.

Kai stared at Cinder, his eyes sparkling as he looked at her— glowing with the love that he felt for her. Then his face shifted, and just as they were nearing their room, Kai shot Cinder a smirk and said: "Am I in a museum?"

Cinder gawked at him, trying to understand what he was saying. "Wha-"

"Because you are truly a work of art."

"Uh," Cinder's brain was wracking itself for some sort of pop culture reference as it often did now that she and Kai could sit and talk like normal people. Nothing pulled up. "What are you talking about? This is just the hallway."

Kai scrunched his nose, his ears turning pink. "I meant, uh," he looked up at the gilded ceilings, as if wracking his brains for something to say. "Are you a dictionary? Because you add meaning to my life."

"What?" Cinder leaned up against the door to Kai's room, arms crossed over her chest. She stared at his face, taking in the way his eyes were squinting, as if he were internally cringing at himself. "Why are you spouting nonsense at me?"

"I, um," Kai sputtered, closing his eyes. "Can I follow you home-"

"We are home, Kai."

"Because my parents told me to follow my dreams," Kai whispered, leaning in close to Cinder. He placed his arms up, hands against the door. His face stood inches away from Cinder's, and she couldn't help but breathe him in, despite how strangely he was acting.

"What has gotten into you, Kai?" Cinder whispered, her eyes flicking back and forth between his copper eyes and his lips. It took just about all that she had within herself not to close the space between them and place her lips on his. Then she remembered her time upon the Rampion, when it was just her and Thorne, and he had made ridiculous comments like the ones Kai was making now. He had called them pick-up lines— a weird flirting technique that Cinder would never understand.

Cinder laughed, pushing Kai's chest playfully. "Oh my stars," she chuckled. "Have you been talking to Thorne? Are you..." she gasped, her laughter overtaking her. "Are you trying to use pick-up lines on me?"

"He told me that you would like them," Kai stared at the floor, his shoulders raising up towards his ears. He moved back from the wall, and put a hand over his eyes. "Aces, I'm such an idiot. Why would I ever listen to Thorne?"

Heart melting, Cinder walked towards Kai, pulling his hand from his face and lacing her fingers with his own. "You were indeed very stupid to listen to Thorne," she brought her other hand up to cup Kai's face. "But you're also just a little bit cute." She stood on her toes and placed a soft kiss against his lips.

"You think I'm cute?" Kai asked as Cinder pulled away, his lips quirking up at the corners.

"More like absolutely adorable, but I didn't want to boost your ego too high," Cinder smirked, rolling her eyes and pursing her lips. "Got any other pick-up lines?"

"Uh," Kai scratched his head, his eyes rolling up to look at the ceiling. "There's only one thing I want to change about you."

"What?" Cinder asked, dread filling her stomach, despite the fact that it was Kai saying the words— someone who had only ever been kind to her.

"Your last name."

There was silence for a moment, as Cinder analyzed him, trying to gauge what kind of a joke that was. Kai stared back, as if what he had said was perfectly logical. "But you don't have a last name," Cinder said, sucking in her lips to keep from laughing. "Kai, you idiot, you literally don't even have a last name."

"Crap," Kai gasped, dramatically throwing himself against the wall and burying his face in his arms. "How could I even..."

Cinder grabbed onto his arm, unable to contain her laughter. She laid her head against his chest, and felt a wave of love wash over her. She was about to marry the biggest idiot in the galaxy, but all she could manage to feel towards him was an unquenchable love.

"Regretting leaving that rock in the sky for me?" Kai asked, wrapping an arm around Cinder as she laughed uncontrollably into his chest.

"Never," Cinder gasped through her giggling. "Never in a thousand years. No one on that blasted moon could ever make me laugh so hard."

Kai sighed against her, putting his reddened cheek to her hair. "Well, at least I'm good for something."

"You're good at lots of things," Cinder grinned, pecking his cheek. She touched his face, and melted from within to think of her entire life ahead with this idiot. She could hardly wait to get started. "You're just particularly good at saying stupid things— at making me laugh."

"If it makes you laugh, then I'll always say stupid things," Kai wrapped his arm around Cinder, then pushed open the door to his room. "Now, do you want some rice for lunch? Thorne, uh, said that was your favorite."

Cinder whirled on him, then seeing that his eyes were wide and innocent, she let out another laugh. 


	11. August Eighteenth

When Cinder woke up on August the eighteenth, her heart felt particularly heavy— as if made from metal like her left hand. All she wanted in the whole world was to sleep and sleep and sleep until the day ended and August the nineteenth began. But of course, she was an empress, and she and her husband had too many duties to fulfill for her to stay in bed all day.

So Cinder got up as usual, kissing Kai good morning and rushing off to her meetings. She went through the motions of an ordinary day, all the while reliving the events of this day only three years before.

The anniversary of her little sister’s death had never before hit her so hard as it did now. The past two years she had been on Luna and away from the place where she had known Peony. But since her marriage to Kai only months before, Cinder had moved back to New Beijing and seen her sister in everything around her.

Throughout all of Cinder’s life at the Linh’s, Peony had been her only friend— save for Iko. She had been the one to tell her about Prince Kai, and Cinder wished that she could have introduced her sister to her now husband. Peony had been the only human to ever touch Cinder, or say kind words to her. She had been the one to cut Cinder’s hair and give her hugs. Peony had been the only bright spot in Cinder’s life for five years, and even three years after her death, Cinder still missed her fiercely.

By the end of the long day, Cinder’s head throbbed from the tears she couldn’t shed. She was both grateful and annoyed that she couldn’t cry— for if she could, she would have been a mess of waterworks throughout the entire day. But the release of emotions would have been nice. She felt like a bomb that couldn’t explode.

When Cinder got back to her and Kai’s quarters, she longed for nothing but sleep. She adored Kai, and knew that he understood her pain— she had held him as he cried two days before on the anniversary of his father’s death— but she needed that temporary oblivion.

“Hey,” Kai smiled, looking up at Cinder from his desk as she entered the room. He had a stack of papers in front of him, but he pushed them aside.

Cinder returned his smile, though somewhat weakly. She just didn’t have the energy to pretend anymore. The entire day she had acted as if everything was normal when really she felt like her synthetic heart had been stabbed yet again.

Kai’s eyes squinched with worry as he took her in. Then he stood from his chair, walked toward her and wrapped his arms around her in a hug. Cinder held him tightly to her, some part of her breaking as she let out a sob. She buried her face in his crisp shirt as her entire body shook.

He held her for a long time, rubbing his hand up and down her back soothingly and whispering words of comfort in her ear. He led her to their bed and sat her down next to him so as to hold her even better. He even pulled the too-tight elastic from her hair, and played with the locks in a gentle, soothing manner.

After Cinder had cried her fill, she stayed within Kai’s arms, breathing in his clean scent of laundry detergent and soap. She didn’t know how she had not longed for Kai’s arms all day— they were more comforting than any form of oblivion.

“I have something for you,” Kai muttered in Cinder’s ear, his lips tickling her. His fingers twisted in her hair, pulling gently at the ends just as Peony had always done with Cinder’s hair. “Something special for today. Something for you to remember her by.”

Cinder pulled back from Kai, her head throbbing, but her heart somehow less empty. His own eyes were somewhat wet, and she could tell from the subtle redness that he had shed a few tears while Cinder had been crying. She felt her heart expand, somehow managing to love him even more in that moment.

“What is it?” Cinder asked, brushing her hair back behind her ears. Kai gave her a sad smile, then walked back over to his desk and pulled out a small book.

He sat down next to Cinder once more and handed her the book. It was a small, red leather bound scrapbook with Peony’s name etched into the cover. Cinder felt her heart squeeze just looking at the careful lettering and the imprints of peony flowers on the cover.

Cinder glanced at Kai, her eyes wide. He scootched in closer to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She opened the book, and on the very first page she found a photograph of Peony, smiling and waving at the camera from within her shared room with Pearl in Phoenix Towers.

Leaning her head on Kai’s shoulder, Cinder looked through the entire book, finding a new picture of Peony on each page— all with her smiling or laughing or making goofy faces. Every photo displayed her from the time that Cinder had known her, showing Cinder’s sister from ages nine to fourteen. There were even occasional photos of Cinder with Peony, arms thrown around one another, or both staring at some piece of machinery in concentration, or pretend concentration.

By Cinder’s count, there were over thirty photos inside the scrapbook, all the Peony that Cinder had known and loved so well. And by the time she reached the end of the small book, Cinder felt an overwhelming rush of emotions.

“How?” Cinder asked, her voice choked with emotion. “How did you get these pictures?”

“Iko,” Kai replied simply. His arm was still wrapped around her comfortingly, and his fingers gently stroked the bare skin of her arm. “She used to take pictures of you and Peony when you guys were particularly happy. I didn’t know she would still have images like that, but apparently Cress backed them onto a drive or something like that. Anyhow, we both thought that you would appreciate the memories.”

Cinder stared at the front cover, gently tracing Peony’s name with her finger. She had no words to express how much she loved the scrapbook— how much it meant to her to have such precious memories.

She wrapped her arms around Kai’s neck, holding him tighter than she ever had before. “Thank you,” she whispered into his shoulder, her body trembling with the tears she couldn’t shed. “This… this means so much to me. Thank you, Kai.”

Kai let out a sigh and continued to hold her. They didn’t say anything else for a long time, but simply clutched one another. Both had lost so much too soon in life, but at least they had one another, to have and to hold until their dying days. Even with all the loss in their life, they were enough for one another.


	12. In Denial

“Hey,” Kai whispered to Cinder during their world leaders meeting. His hand rested on her back, rubbing gentle circles there in such a comforting way that Cinder almost forgot all the nausea roiling inside of her. She turned her face toward him and saw concerned copper eyes with hair falling into them in such a way that Cinder itched to brush it back.

“Huh?”

“I think you should skip the next meeting,” Kai murmured, his fingers reaching up and twirling in her half-down hair. His knee began to bounce in a way that let Cinder know that he was anxious. “I can handle it by myself, and you can go take a nap.”

Cinder leaned closer to Kai, longing for him to hold her but knowing that she had to keep her well-practiced posture in order for a certain someone— _cough_ Queen Camilla _cough_ — to take her seriously.

“Kai, the next meeting is for cyborg rights. I can’t miss that— it literally concerns my rights,” Cinder placed her hand on Kai’s knee, stopping it from bouncing up and down.

Kai winced, his nose twitching at Cinder’s catch in his anxiety. He leaned his head even closer to her. “After being married to you for five years, I think that I’m just as concerned about cyborg rights as you are. I can handle it alone— trust me.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you…” Cinder started, but trailed off as Kai’s eyes bore into hers. She let out a sigh. “Fine, you go to the meeting and I’ll go…”

“Take a nap,” Kai finished for her, his fingers writing _N-A-P_ across her back. “You haven’t been sleeping and look dead on your feet.”

“Thanks,” Cinder glared.

“No no,” Kai rolled his eyes. “It’s just that— well, if you’re not sleeping, you’re not going to feel great. So get some sleep and maybe you won’t feel so sick. I just want for you to feel good. It’s been rough the past couple of weeks.”

Cinder let out a sigh but nodded her head all the same. She’d felt ill for about ten days now, and was pretty much over it. Never had Cinder been good at the lying in bed thing— even after being stabbed through the heart. So while she agreed to Kai’s offer of a nap, she knew she wasn’t going to take one. She had other plans.

The idea had been nibbling at her for the past few days when she realized that she hadn’t had her period in— well, a couple of months. She wasn’t much for tracking her cycle in the first place due to its unreliability, but even this was a little out of place for her.

She and Kai had talked about kids— they wanted them for sure— but they hadn’t been trying either. It was something to think about in the future— not now while they were still so young. Sure, they had been married for half a decade, but they had also gotten married at ages nineteen and twenty-one.

It no longer mattered though— she was going to take a pregnancy test.

***

Cinder stared at the stick in shock, unsure what to think or feel. She had thought that maybe… but seeing it in reality was more than she had ever expected. The two pink lines running down the panel, showing that she most definitely had a creature living within her— a baby.

Her hands shook as she set the test down on the sink counter of her bathroom. Her brain panel warned her of rising hormones, but Cinder brushed them away— _no duh she felt a rush of adrenaline and the like_.

She ducked her head into her hands, feeling a swell of emotions rising within her. Everything from shock to fear to indescribable joy hit her in a wave so fierce that her eyes began to throb with her lack of tears. It was both the most exciting and the scariest thing to have ever happened to her— and she had once gone up against her tyrannical, mind controlling aunt with her own life and her friend’s lives all at stake. But this was so much different.

“Hey, Cinder,” a knock sounded outside the door and Cinder froze. She tried to stand, but her legs gave out on her and she fell back down to the ground. “Are you okay in there?”

“Uh-huh,” Cinder gasped, barely audible. She finally managed to grab hold of the sink and drag herself up to her feet. She opened a drawer and threw the pregnancy test inside next to Iko’s meticulously arranged hair products for Cinder that she had never once used.

“I know you hate to admit defeat, and I really admire that about you,” Kai said, his voice gentle in that way it only ever was with her. Not that he was a demanding man with anyone, but he had that air of authority about him that suited his rank. “But I think that you should see a doctor. Just to make sure that everything’s okay.”

Cinder rested her hand on the handle of the door. Her body shook all over and she knew that if she opened the door in that moment then there would be no way she’d be able to hold back what she had just discovered.

When Cinder didn’t respond, Kai kept talking. “We have some really good doctors— I don’t even think any of them are spies like Dr. Erland was. And the guy who diagnosed you with summer allergies, I totally think he’s right, even if you believe him a liar. I see you sneezing in the summer. You’re just in denial. But you don’t have to see him. You can see Dr. Blanchard or- or someone else, I don’t know.”

Cinder let out a little sigh— Kai was such an idiot sometimes, but quite possibly the most wonderful person upon the face of the earth or Luna. He loved her, and she loved him.

She turned the door handle and stepped out. Her body quivered just a little bit, and Kai stared at her, as if by looking at her he could figure out what was wrong.

“I’m not sick,” Cinder said, though her voice was barely over a whisper.

“Cinder-”

“I’m not sick, Kai,” she took his hands, trying to smile, though her lips hardly twitched. “There’s something else.”

“What do you mean?” Kai asked, taking a step closer to her. “What else could it be?”

“I…” Cinder swallowed, unable to get the words out of her mouth. _I’m pregnant_. How does one say such words? How do they get them out?

Kai stepped forward, concern scrawled across his face. He placed a hand on her forehead as if to feel for a fever. Cinder let out a laugh and reached up to take his hand from her face.

“I’m not sick, Kai,” Cinder repeated, pulling his hand to her lips and kissing it. “I’m— we— I don’t know how to say this.”

Kai’s face went pale, and he pulled Cinder closer to him. She could see the gears turning within his head, calculating her symptoms and everything that she couldn’t seem to say.

“I’m pregnant.”

Kai’s jaw dropped, then a smile took over his entire countenance accompanied by the tears that Cinder herself hadn’t been able to cry. He threw his arms around her in the tightest hug that she had ever received, lifting her off the ground in his excitement.

He suddenly pulled away, his hands upon his shoulder and dewey eyes piercing Cinder’s own. “Are you sure?”

Cinder nodded vigorously, a smile overcoming her face despite her lack of words.

“Are you okay? Do you feel okay?”

She smiled at him and nodded slowly. She’d never felt so happy in her entire life. Kai grinned and pulled her close to him again, his hands playing with the loose strands of her hair.

“We’re having a baby?” Kai asked, though it was less of a question and more of an exclamation. “When did you find out?”

“Just now,” Cinder whispered into his shoulder. She breathed in the soft, clean scent of him, reveling in the feeling of being in his arms and him just being close to her and loving her. She would have never believed a love so strong could be held in regard to herself a decade before, but alas, here she was, being held by the one person who had given her the whole world and so much more.

“Are you scared?”

“Terrified,” Cinder grinned. “You?”

“I’m so happy that I don’t really know what else to do than hug you until the excitement wears off.” Kai cupped the back of her head in his hand, then kissed the top of her head. “The only thing is, I don’t know if my excitement will ever wear off.

“Mine too,” Cinder sighed, then she leaned her head back and kissed Kai. She would never understand how she had gotten so lucky— maybe it was for all that she had done for Luna and cyborgs and people who had suffered. But for whatever reason fate decided to shine kindly upon Cinder, she was grateful for her happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have received so many requests for this specific shot over the years but never did it because I honestly have never been into the "my otp has kids!" thing or second gen stuff. I literally couldn't take myself serious while writing this too so if it's cringe then I'm sorry. It's also unedited because I truly cannot read this-- I just, I don't know. It's not my thing at all. Anyhow, thanks for the requests on tumblr and the ignored requests on wattpad for about three years<333


	13. The Little Things

“Cinder!” Kai whispered frantically, glancing over at his wife and gesturing frantically with his hand, motioning for her to come toward him. The light of the early morning cast a shadow across his face and made it look as if he had a halo about his head. Cinder squinted, trying to discern whether it was an angel or her husband jumping up and down beside her bedroom window. It was indeed her husband, messy hair flopping about and socked feet whispering against the carpet.

Rubbing at her eyes, Cinder let out a groan and rolled out of bed— quite literally. Her metal leg hit the ground with an especially loud _thump_ and Cinder let out a hiss, though more from the cold of leaving her bed than the falling to the ground. Kai didn’t even turn to look at her but kept his hand outstretched in her direction as he continued to look out the window. Cinder let out a string of profanities as she crawled across the softly carpeted floor of her and Kai’s bedroom.

Kai twinkled his fingers in her direction and bounced on his toes as he looked outside. Cinder couldn’t even fathom how he was awake at… _5:32?_ Her brain interface had to be malfunctioning. Normally it was _Cinder_ who dragged Kai out of bed in the morning.

She grabbed Kai’s jittery hand and pulled herself up next to him. He wrapped his arm around Cinder's shoulders, and interlaced his fingers with her metal hand, rubbing warmth into the titanium. Cinder leaned her head against his chest, reveling in the warmth he exuded even through his worn gray sweatshirt and cotton pajama bottoms. Cinder typically overheated as she slept and preferred to wear a tank top and shorts— what a bad decision that felt like now.

“What did you drag me out of bed for at this star forsaken time?” Cinder asked, burying her face in Kai’s neck. She let out a yawn and breathed in Kai’s clean scent of laundry detergent and soap.

“The baby birds,” Kai exhaled, his entire body shaking with excitement. “The eggs in the cherry tree— they hatched. They hatched, Cinder!”

Cinder slowly turned her face up so that she could look at Kai. She thought he was joking— there was no way on Earth and Luna he’d dragged her out of bed to see that the nest full of eggs now had chicks. She stared at him, but he paid her no attention as he continued to look intently out the window.

“Oh my stars, I’ve never seen anything so cute in my entire life,” Kai gushed, squeezing Cinder against him. “Cinder, look! Look at their tiny beaks. Aces and spades, those are the most precious creatures that I have ever seen.

Turning her attention from her husband Cinder looked out the window. He was right— the eggs had hatched, and within the nest lay five adorable baby birds. Sure, they were cute but… Cinder could have looked at them just as well after two more hours of sleep. But the look on Kai’s face as he stared at the chicks— well, that was something that Cinder could watch at any point in time.

In the time since their wedding only a few months before, they'd had barely any time to enjoy the little things of life, with meetings as their constant companion and responsibilities up the wazoo to keep them busy. But in this quiet moment, as Kai chattered about baby birds, she felt _normal_ for the first time in a long time. 

And all that aside, Cinder had never seen Kai get so excited about something so small. Sure, he was generally a happy and optimistic guy, but this childlike joy over a nest of baby birds made her chest expand with more love than ever for him.

Cinder grinned, then kissed Kai on the cheek. He squeezed her tight again, then dropped her hand to point out the window as the mama bird flew back to the nest. “Oh my stars. Look at them open their little beaks to eat from their mama. I have never seen anything so cute in my whole life.”

“I really think we need to get you a puppy,” Cinder giggled, watching Kai rather than the baby birds. She found him to be much cuter than a flock of naked and withered chicks. It wasn't exactly a fair competition from her point of view.

He turned his attention away from the birds to look into her eyes for a moment. “Can we get a puppy?”

“I don’t see why not,” Cinder turned back to look at the birds. “As long as they don’t shed. And if they receive proper training. I think even Torin would like that.”

“Oh my stars,” Kai’s mouth dropped open. “Do you think we should wake up Torin to see the baby birds? I bet he’d love them.

Cinder let out a chuckle and pecked Kai’s cheek once more. “Maybe show him later today— they’re not gonna go anywhere.”

“True true,” Kai nodded his head, smiling out at the baby birds. “Aces and spades, have you ever seen anything like this? They’re just too cute!”

When Cinder had first moved in with the Linh’s at their old house, she'd had a tree right outside her window that always had a family nested in the branches. Peony would often come into her room and ooh and ahh at the tiny creatures. Even in her everyday life as she'd walked home from the marketplace every day she’d seen baby birds— they were common enough creatures. But Kai had lived inside this palace his whole life, hardly venturing out into the world to see the little things.

“Never,” Cinder replied, wrapping both her arms around Kai’s waist and leaning her head on his shoulder. He laid his head atop hers and held her tight against him. And for a long time they stood there together, Kai exclaiming about every detail of the baby birds as Cinder grinned and listened to the boy she loved.


	14. She Loves You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fifth and final continuation of the Netflix and Chill shot mini series

Kai stared up at the blue sky through the thick canopy of trees above him, the leaves shimmering green and gold in the gentle breeze. He watched as soft, puffy clouds shifted across the sky, taking their sweet time. Everything felt sleepy and warm— the perfect day.

Cinder let out a sigh and Kai glanced down at his sleeping girlfriend. She had her head laid on top of his chest and her body wrapped around his. Getting out of the hammock would definitely be a struggle, but for the time being Kai couldn't be bothered to think about anything so trivial as letting Cinder go. He would never do it if he didn't need to.

With one leg on the ground, Kai pushed the hammock from side to side, humming old Beatles tunes in his off-key sort of way. He had learned from previous times of holding Cinder that his lullaby renditions of his favorite rap songs didn't exactly put her to sleep. But for some reason the genius of John, Paul, George and Ringo did.

He had both of his arms wrapped around her, with one hand playing with her hair while the other rested firmly upon her back. He loved the feel of her hair and the way that Cinder always leaned into him whenever he caressed the locks.

A lot had happened in the past little while, and it was these moments between the two of them that Kai cherished more than most others. When Cinder's sister had died, the whole world had seemingly fallen apart, leaving Cinder with next to nothing. She moved in with their friend Scarlet and her grandmother the second she turned eighteen and spent all her time working and trying to get her grades up in order to graduate. After all the stress of her sister's illness, Cinder had fallen massively behind— but with Kai's help and the aid of the rest of their friends, she'd caught up and managed to graduate.

And then of course she'd seen a lot of Kai— and not just as a study buddy. A blush colored Kai's cheeks just thinking about both the conversations his father and Mrs. Benoit had given him in regards to Cinder— and that wasn't even to mention Thorne's obligatory big brother "I'll kick your ass if you hurt her" speech that he'd given Kai the second he'd discovered that the two were dating. But Kai wasn't scared of any of them— he never planned on hurting Cinder in the slightest as long as his life lasted.

But now they were all free; graduation had happened nearly a month ago, and Kai and Cinder had plans to attend college together in the fall. He planned to have a double major for political science and journalism, while Cinder wanted to follow something within the realm of mechanics. They balanced each other out in that way, with Cinder dominating math and sciences while Kai preferred English and history. Opposites in many ways, yet the same in others. Kai was just glad that they were sticking together— he never wanted to be parted from her.

Kai inhaled deeply, breathing in the sweet air around him and catching a hint of motor oil and flowery shampoo from Cinder as he did so. He smiled, turning his neck so that he could look at Cinder. Her face was so peaceful and serene in sleep. For a time, right after Peony's death, Cinder had only been able to fall asleep with Kai right beside her, ready to comfort her after she woke from the nightmares. But now, months since her sister's death, Cinder could sleep easier— though she still claimed that she found slumber a more accessible companion with Kai by her side. He didn't mind in the slightest— he would hold her until the end of time if that was what she wanted. He held no care as to how outrageous any of her requests were so long as he could be with her. For years all he had wanted was to love her, and now that he could, he wouldn't stop.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, breathing in sync with Cinder. He could feel the thrum of her heart against his chest— or perhaps it was his own. No, their hearts beat in sync with one another, slow and steady and forever constant.

Kai continued to rock them gently, taking care not to move an inch and wake Cinder. He started to sing softly rather than hum, letting the simple lyrics spill over his lips and into the breeze. The words to _She Loves You_ , his all-time favorite Beatles song flowed into the air somewhat flat and many beats slower than the original version. It sounded almost sad as Kai sang it, though the song didn't feel that way to him.

"She does love you," Cinder whispered a few moments after the final " _yeah_ " left Kai's lips. His eyes flew open at the sound of her voice— well, and because of her words.

"What?" Kai asked, his heart skipping a beat.

"I love you," Cinder said into his shirt, her voice sleepy. She hugged Kai tighter to herself and let out a sigh. "I love you, Kai Prince."

"I-I," Kai gasped, his eyes stinging as his heart just about exploded with happiness. Of course he kind of already knew that she loved him— he knew that he loved her— but hearing the words aloud. He'd waited, not saying them himself so as not to force her into anything she didn't want. But she'd said them. She'd really just said them. "I love you too."

Cinder let out a happy little hum and then nuzzled her face against Kai's shirt, as if warding off an itch. Moments later, her breathing evened out in that slightly puffy way it only did when she slept. Kai couldn't fathom how she could fall asleep after what words had just passed between the two of them— she loved him. Cinder Linh loved him.

" _She loves me, yeah yeah yeah_ ," Kai whisper-sang. " _She loves me, yeah yeah yeah. She loves me yeah yeah yeah yeah yeahhh._ "

"You're a dork," Cinder yawned, though Kai could feel her smile against his chest. He twirled a strand of hair around his finger, letting it tickle his palm.

"But you love me," Kai grinned.

"That I do," Cinder breathed. "That I do."

" _Love love me do_ -"

"Don't push it," Cinder grunted and Kai let out a chuckle.

So he hummed _Something_ instead, and rocked Cinder to sleep once more. He let the beating of their synchronized hearts be the drum, and the whistling wind be his symphony. And with that simple love song he knew that nothing could ever tear them apart. For he loved Cinder, and she loved him. And as a wise man once said, " _all you need is love_."


	15. Horror Film

“ _You’re lying,_ ” Kai turned to Cinder, his eyes wide and mouth agape. She tried to maintain a serious look as she stared at him, but he was all messy hair and rumpled suit jacket; he made her synthetic heart melt with his adorableness. 

Cinder’s face broke and she let out a laugh. “No, Kai,” she rolled her eyes, though more in a teasing way than out of unkindness. “I have never seen a horror film.”

“How?” Kai threw his hands up, his eyes so wide that he looked almost insane. “How have you managed to make it through twenty-one years of life and never seen a horror movie? I just- my mind is blown right now.”

“I don’t know,” Cinder chuckled, grabbing Kai’s hands and pulling them to her face so they rested on her cheeks. “I mean, I did spend about eight years in a suspended animation tank, and then another five living with the Linh’s— and Peony only ever watched net dramas. Then of course there was the whole revolution coupled with the years of being a Queen and then all that time and effort spent getting ready to marry you. I just never really got around to it.”

Kai’s eyes drooped and he let out a sigh. “I guess you’re right— you’ve never really had much downtime, have you?”

“Unless you count the years spent in Scarlet’s basement.”

Kai wrinkled his nose, leaning his face in toward hers. “I don’t.”

Cinder grinned up at him, then closed the gap between them, pressing her lips to his in a sweet kiss. He kissed her back tenderly, then broke away with a smile. 

“I guess I know what we’re doing tonight.”

***

“This plot sounds terrible,” Cinder groaned, curled up against Kai as she scrolled through films on her port. They had a mound of blankets— which Kai had insisted on— and a massive bowl of popcorn— something Cinder had suggested— and were nestled against one another in their bed. Kai’s arms were around her, holding her tight despite the fact that they hadn’t even picked a movie. “ _‘Girl tries to run from her mother’s murderous ghost,’_ what kind of storyline is that?”

“Sounds spooky,” Kai tittered, pressing a kiss to Cinder’s cheek.

“It sounds boring,” Cinder complained, skipping to another film. “ _‘Mysterious man attempts to kill a girl for years, all the while creating beasts to come after her.’_ What kind of horrible plot-line is that? Why are there always random girls getting murdered?”

Kai laughed and swiped to the next movie before Cinder got the chance. “They don’t actually ever kill the girl, everyone just tries to.”

“And you actually enjoy watching these?” Cinder asked, her brow raised and mouth twisted. 

“Oh no, I hate horror films,” Kai confessed, craning his neck so that he could look into her eyes. “They scare the living daylights out of me.”

Cinder blinked slowly then tilted her head to the side. “Then why are we watching this garbage?”

A grin slowly overtook Kai’s face. He leaned his face toward hers and gave her a quick peck on the lips. “Because you can’t live life without having ever seen a horror film, love. It’s just not right.” He sighed, “And besides, they’re always an excellent excuse to cuddle.”

Kai leaned his head against Cinder’s and she chose a movie that had what sounded to be a somewhat decent plot. Kai pulled her close to him and Cinder couldn’t help but smile as she rested her head against his and watched the opening credits of the film.

Over the course of the movie Cinder didn’t really feel anything other than confusion at the cheesy one-liners and the really fake blood. However, Kai’s screaming whenever someone was murdered might have been the funniest thing Cinder had ever witnessed. Never before had she seen him in such a state of fright— well, of course other than that time when he had found her with a knife in her heart on the throne room floor at Artemisia Palace, but that had been different. This fear was both manufactured and real at the same time— at least for Kai.

He clutched her close to him and buried his head in her neck. Cinder played gently with his hair and ran her fingers along his back, never turning her face away from the port, even as person after person got murdered in spectacular ways.

Within the first twenty minutes of the movie Cinder had picked out the murderer, and was pleased to discover by the end that she was right. Kai had protested, believing it to be the obvious suspect— the one meant to fool the audience. 

By the time the murderer was revealed, and five people had fallen to the killer, Kai had knocked the bowl of popcorn from the bed and had his face both buried in Cinder’s neck and his hands covering his eyes. Cinder watched in fascination as the girl wrestled the killer and managed to impale him in the chest with his own knife. She felt no twinge of pity for the killer, but a little pang of agony for what he was going through— she knew how it felt to be stabbed in the heart. 

“Kai, it’s over,” Cinder whispered as the scene changed to the girl talking to the police and urging them to go in and see the body. 

“Aces, that was frightening,” Kai sighed, uncovering his eyes but keeping his head nestled against Cinder. She set her port aside and brought a hand up to cup Kai’s cheek. 

“Are you gonna be able to sleep after that?” Cinder asked, her voice gentle, yet stern at the same time. Kai wrapped his arms tight around her, holding her close to him.

“Only if you hold me,” Kai whispered, nuzzling his head against Cinder’s neck.

Cinder let out a sigh, then pulled the comforter up and around them. She held Kai tight, breathing in his scent and letting the feel of his slowed breathing pull her into a peaceful sleep.


	16. Waiting Out the Storm

A crack of lightning sounded outside the palace walls, echoing with a gusto as it seemingly shook the earth. Rain followed within seconds, starting with a soft patter and then growing into something powerful. Kai beamed as he stared out his office window, taking in a deep breath as if to smell the rainy air despite being inside. He loved the rain more than anything else— to feel it fall upon his skin and breathe in the sweet, clean scent.

He glanced at Cinder, her desk adjacent to his. Every time he looked over to see her sitting beside him sent a little thrill up his spine. She was here on earth with him. It had taken them so long to get here, between the uprising and the kidnapping and her being queen for a couple years, but no longer were they separated. It still felt like a dream, even after three weeks of having her with him.

When she had first moved into the palace, she'd had her very own study joined to her room. Of course she still _had_ the study and her own room, but after two years of being apart, neither could stand any more time not in the other's presence. So Cinder's desk had been moved to stand beside Kai's. And while many of her things, such as her royal finery, rested neatly and unpacked in her official room, she had yet to sleep in her quarters since arriving.

Another blasting boom of thunder shook the palace, and Cinder flinched. Kai frowned and scooted his chair closer to hers.

She looked at him, eyes wide with that deer-in-headlights stare one only had when they were afraid. He frowned, placing a hand gently on top of hers. She flipped her palm up and intertwined their fingers together. Kai felt the racing of her pulse through her wrist pressed against his own.

"Cinder?" Kai asked, rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand. Another blast of lightning resounded, and Cinder closed her eyes gently. She made no sound, but pressed her lips together in a thin line.

"I don't like lightning," Cinder whispered, her words barely a breath. She opened her eyes and stared at Kai. He felt his heart melt just a little bit as she studied him, her eyes flickering between his own. "It stresses me out."

"Why?" Kai couldn't stop himself from asking— it made no sense to him. From the time he'd been a small child he'd loved to stand in the rain: to splash in puddles and dance and taste the sweet raindrops. He couldn't fathom a world in which that was a thing to be feared.

Cinder shrugged. "I don't know, why are you scared of spiders?"

"Uh," Kai furrowed his brow, sputtering just slightly upon his words. "Because they're terrifying beasts, that's why."

"It's just irrational," Cinder said, using her free hand to rub at a tension spot on her forehead. "It's all the noise and the bright flashes of light. Maybe it's too much like fire, or- or something else, I don't know."

"Hey," Kai soothed, scooting his chair forward until it was touching hers. He pulled her head down so it rested on his shoulder and wrapped his arms around her. Cinder let out a little sigh as Kai held her to him, burying her face in his neck.

Kai pulled her even closer, dragging her from her chair until she was sitting in his lap. She held onto him as if he were a lifeline, her body curling against his. He hummed tunelessly and rubbed gentle circles along her back.

"Are you afraid of being electrocuted?"

Cinder pulled back just enough to glare at him, her nostrils flaring as she huffed. He grinned back up at her, a bubble of ecstasy filling his chest.

"Not funny."

"Aw, come on," Kai laughed, leaning forward to press a kiss against Cinder's cheek. "I really don't think it's anything to be worried about— chances of being struck by lightning are like... like one in a million."

"More like one in half a million," Cinder grumbled.

Kai moved his face, kissing her other cheek. He let his lips linger for just a moment, and heard Cinder let out a little sigh. "That's not fair— you have a computer in your brain. Oh wait–" Kai broke off, his eyes alighting as he realized something. "Are you scared because of your hand and leg? That you're more likely to get struck."

Cinder's face soured, but she did not move from her place in Kai's lap. Rather, she let her fingers wander to play with his hair, twisting the ends gently. "That's a myth, Kai."

"It is?" Kai exclaimed, dumbfounded.

"Uh-huh," Cinder rolled her eyes. "But if I were to get struck it would probably hurt a lot more with the metal extremities."

"Wow," Kai sighed, turning his gaze back toward the window just as another flash of lightning struck the evening sky. Cinder tensed within his arms, gripping him tighter with the roar of the accompanying thunder.

Kai turned back to her and pressed a kiss to her lips, slow and easy and gentle. When they broke apart her body had melted back against his, as if they were one form, never to be parted from one another.

"Tell you what," Kai said, tilting his head from side to side. "What if we wait out the storm before doing any more work— just lay in bed for a while and forget about the lightning."

"Kai," Cinder sighed, closing her eyes. "We both know we don't have the luxury of doing that. You have to finish with the Letumosis antidote distribution agency and I have Lunar immigration papers to handle."

"Are you going to get any work done while it's storming?" Kai asked, squeezing her tight. "Because to tell you the truth, I'm not; I love the rain. And just from watching you jump out of your skin every time you hear thunder, I'm guessing you won't either."

"And besides," Kai continued, brushing a strand of hair out of Cinder's eyes. "I want to cuddle with my wonderful and beautiful fiancée who _finally_ lives on the same planet as me."

For a moment, she just stared at him, her lips slightly parted. Then she sighed, letting her head fall to rest against Kai's shoulder. "Just for a little bit."

Kai grinned, and they got to work immediately, turning their bed into a cocoon of blankets and pillows. They were still dressed in their work clothes, with Kai in a pressed gray suit and Cinder in a flowy green dress, but they cuddled up despite this.

They wrapped blankets around themselves and held one another close, listening to the sound of the rain as it fell on the palace rooftops. Kai told Cinder stories of playing in the rain as a child and stole kisses from her as she smiled at him. They stayed like that for a long time, enjoying one another's company and the bliss of being in the other's arms as they waited out the storm.

By the time that the rain stopped and not a flicker of lightning remained in the sky, they had fallen into that haze of comforting sleep, pressed against one another— dreaming not of rain, but of one another.


	17. Anything For You

Kai awoke to the startling sound of his fiancée vomiting into the toilet. Of course, he didn’t recognize the sound as first, having never heard it before— but when he sleepily reached over to Cinder’s side of the bed, he knew.

Within a moment he was on his feet, hurrying to the bathroom. He wasted no time in rushing to her kneeling form and pulling her hair back from her face. He pulled an elastic from the sink counter and tied it around her hair. Kneeling down beside her, he rubbed his hands over her back, letting her know that he was there, but not overcrowding her misery.

After a few minutes of useless retching and painful-sounding gagging, Cinder leaned back into Kai, her back resting against his chest. She let out a soft moan, and Kai wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

In all the years that Kai had known Cinder, he’d never seen her get sick— though that might have been due to the fact that they had been separated by vast amounts of literal space during the majority of those years of acquaintance. But even after she’d woken up from being stabbed in the heart she was somewhat less miserable than she seemed now; granted, she didn’t have the drugs.

All situations aside, Kai couldn’t bear to see her so miserable. It tore at everything within him, leaving only the need to take care of her until this ailment no longer tormented her.

“I don’t feel good,” Cinder whimpered. The aching of Kai’s heart only increased with these words. He held her tighter, rocking them back and forth just slightly.

“Do you want to lay down in bed?” Kai asked. “Or will moving just make you sick again.”

Cinder moaned, and Kai felt gooseflesh rise upon her bare arms. She was wearing only a tank top and shorts— definitely not warm enough.

Kai started to make a mental check-list of all the things she needed: warmer clothes, flu medicine, soup, a trash can…

“I gotta get dressed,” Cinder slurred her words so that they were barely understandable. She coughed weakly, her breathing labored as her body leaned farther against Kai’s. “I have… meetings. Cyborg rights and Lunar immigration and…”

“Cinder,” Kai said softly, his lips brushing against her cheek. “You’re too sick to go to your meetings.” He brought one hand up to touch her forehead, surprised at the warmth he felt there— wasn’t she supposed to be incapable of overheating?

“Kai,” Cinder whined, lolling her head back and forth. “I have to go. It’s my responsibility and I have to go.”

“We can reschedule them, love,” Kai mumbled, reinstating his hold upon her and hugging her close to him. “Everyone will understand; it’s not a big deal to miss one day.”

“But then I’ll seem incapable and lazy and not good enough to be empress,” Cinder said, her voice sounding very near impossible tears. “I can’t just skip my meetings, Kai. _I can’t._ ”

“Hey,” Kai soothed, brushing hair out of Cinder’s face and leaving his hand to linger on her forehead. She let out a sigh, her body sinking back into his. He couldn’t see her face, but he knew that if he could he would see only anguish. “No one will think any of that, love. You’re sick— everyone gets sick, even soon-to-be empresses.”

“And besides,” Kai continued, “I think it would be far worse if you vomited on some official than if you just postponed the meeting. I bet they’d even thank you.”

With this Cinder let out a weak laugh, her body jerky with the movement. Kai closed his eyes and pressed a kiss to her cheek— she made a soft humming sound, as if he had truly kissed her better.

“Bed?” Kai asked.

“Yeah,” Cinder whispered.

Kai pulled back from Cinder and got to his feet. Together they trudged back to their bed, Cinder leaning heavily on Kai, her eyes squeezed shut and her face sickly pale. Then Kai tucked her into bed, brushing the hair from her face as he leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek.

He moved to walk away from her, his check-list in mind, but her cold metal hand reached out and grabbed his, stopping him in his tracks. Cinder let out a soft whimpering noise, and Kai felt his heart stop as he looked down on her. With her pale features and the misery etched upon her face, Kai was taken back to the times when he’d watched other loved ones die— his parents, sick and small from Letumosis. His eyes stung with the memories.

“You’re… _leaving me_?” Cinder asked, her voice quivering as the words stumbled from her mouth.

“I was just gonna go get you some stuff— I promise I’ll be right back,” Kai mumbled, rubbing Cinder’s hand between both of his.

“Okay,” Cinder sniffed, sounding like a small, frightened child.

It took Kai only three minutes to get everything done: he grabbed the trash can from their bathroom, his gray hoodie from the closet, then sent out a series of comms to Torin, the medical wing, and the kitchens, cancelling his and Cinder’s meetings for the day and requesting medicine and soup for Cinder.

When Kai got back, Cinder had not moved an inch, but her lips turned up just a fraction as she saw him approach her. Kai placed the trash can down on the floor beside her, then sat beside Cinder on the bed.

“Can I get you anything?” Kai inquired, his fingers reaching to brush her bangs aside. Cinder leaned into his touch, her hot skin feeling warm enough to melt her metal prosthetics.

“Don’t you have to go to meetings?”

“No,” Kai shook his head. The tips of his fingers traced her face gently, mapping out her cheekbones and her jaw and the curve of her lips. “I don’t have any meetings today. You and me get the day off.”

“Hmmmm,” Cinder hummed, letting her lashed flutter shut. “Stay with me then?” Her voice came out as hardly more than a breath.

“Yeah,” Kai said, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Anything for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading The Time it Takes to Fall, then you probably need this chapter... and maybe about ten different shots for the next few chapters...


	18. Hotter Mess

Kai bent his head over his knees, the hoodie of his sweatshirt cupping the back of his head and mussing up his hair with the motion. Inside his heart was racing as if he had run all the way from New Beijing Palace and to this Oral Surgeon's office. His whole body was full of jitters; he was antsy.

He wasn't entirely sure why he felt so unnerved at being back in this place, but he did. It had nothing to do with four teeth being chiseled from his jaw though and everything to do with the knowledge that some man was doing exactly that to Cinder at this moment— that she would wake up in a world of pain just as he had.

When Kai had gotten his wisdom teeth out, Cinder had stayed by his side the whole time, making sure he didn't jump out of the hover and always providing him with ice cream when his mouth pained him so. But Cinder tended to mask her pain in such a way that Kai hardly knew how to care for her. What if he wasn't good enough to take care of her?

The outpatient door flew open, and Kai jumped to his feet. His hood fell off his head, disheveling his hair further, though he paid no attention to it.

A nurse with short, choppy hair wheeled a sleeping Cinder into the room. Kai watched, unable to move as the woman pushed his wife over to him, his eyes mapping Cinder's light breathing and the way her chin rested upon her chest. He wanted to scoop her up in his arms and hold her in her slumber— to hug her through the pain she would wake up and feel and prevent the horrible crick in her neck Kai knew she would have upon waking.

Kai knelt down in front of Cinder, pushing loose strands of hair out of her face and holding her head back in a more comfortable position. He expected for her to wake up after his touch, but her eyes did not open.

"She should wake up in a few minutes, Your Majesty," the nurse said, her voice small, and almost fearful as she spoke to him. Kai nodded and thanked her, but did not turn his gaze away from his beloved.

"Hey, Cinder," Kai whispered. He could feel her pulse from where his fingers rested beneath her jaw beating slow, as if it had all the time in the world. He watched her face, taking in her puffy cheeks and listening to her soft huffs as she breathed through her nose. "You did incredible. And once you wake up, we're going to go back to the palace and eat ice cream with Thorne for the whole weekend and watch really lame movies. You'll probably hate it, but you'll also be on enough drugs that I don't think you'll comprehend much of what's going on."

Cinder let out a soft groan, her brow furrowing. Kai felt his heart flutter, but he decided that the best way to make Cinder comfortable would be to talk to her— to just explain everything that was going on. She would probably be confused; Kai had been a complete mess when he'd gotten his wisdom teeth out, crying and wondering aloud what had happened to his tongue.

"Hey, love," Kai soothed, brushing back strands of her hair. "How are you doing? You look wonderful."

Opening one eye, Cinder peeked out at him, her lips parting as she stared at him. "Dat was a wie," Cinder mumbled, her words slurred.

"What?"

Cinder brought a hand up to touch the corner of her eye and hit her face repeatedly to make her point. "You canth fool da compoota in da bren," Cinder glowered, somehow managing to look frightening with only one eye open and chipmunk cheeks. "I goh da ergne ligh en ma eye."

"That was not a lie," Kai scoffed, brushing a finger around Cinder's one open eye. "You're more beautiful now than you ever were with glamor."

"Hah!" Cinder pointed at her eye again, and it was only Kai's hand that prevented her from poking her eye out. "You canth lie ta meh! I can see ya lil lies thneaking up lie gas en a spingthime."

"You can see my lies like grass in the springtime?" Kai clarified, barely able to stop himself from laughing aloud. He'd never seen Cinder so out of her mind— not even after she'd woken up after being stabbed in the heart. Whatever drugs they used here, they were definitely strong enough to make even the most sane go cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

"Yah," Cinder said, her head lolling forward as she spoke the word. Kai cupped her chin before she head-butted him, but this only made her laugh. Kai, too, couldn't help but chuckle as Cinder let out the oddest assortment of sounds that would have been laughter without the gauze hindering the joyous noise. 

The nurse stepped forward once, startling Kai— he'd believed her to be gone. She smiled apologetically, though her eyes were somewhat amused. "You can stay however long you want to, Your Majesty," she said. "But judging by her Majesty's state of being, I would guess that she's going to fall unconscious once more any minute."

"Oh, dere's o eed da gall meh dat," Cinder giggled, leaning her face against Kai's. "I preher da go dy thinder."

Kai grinned and pressed a quick kiss to Cinder's cheek. She gasped, as if it were the most outrageous thing in the world— that coming from the girl who had kidnapped him from his own wedding.

"Thank you," Kai said to the nurse, barely able to maintain a straight face as Cinder attempted to kiss his jaw in return. She cursed, and somehow those were the only words she could say perfectly around her gauze.

The nurse nodded her head, her face flushed as she turned away from the pair and walked out of the room.

"Ma damn ips," Cinder grumbled, reaching a hand up to touch the soft pink skin. "I ant eel dem, Ai."

"I know," Kai laughed, pressing his lips to hers for a brief moment before drawing away. He put both his hands on her face and brought her face to rest eye-level with his own. "Are you ready to leave? Can you walk out to the hover outside?"

Cinder scoffed, attempting to roll her eyes but managing to only cross her eyes. "Ov urse, Ai. I'n ot a ot ness ike you ere."

"You're right," Kai grinned, wrapping his arms around Cinder and pulling her up and out of the wheelchair. She let out a groan with the movement, leaning her head upon his shoulder, but remained on her feet. "You're an even hotter mess."


	19. A Form of Poetry

Kai cursed loudly as an unabridged copy of _Les_ _Misérables_ fell off the stack in his hands and right on top of his foot. “They call you The Brick for a reason,” Kai muttered, nudging the book aside so he could set the heaping stack of books within his arms down on the nearest shelf.

He leaned down and picked up the battered copy of Victor Hugo’s infamous book, trying to fold back a creased edge. His foot was grateful that the nearly 3,000 page book was in paperback, but his mind was distressed on the profitability of such a hard-worn book.

Of course, it was a second-hand bookstore, but still; he tried to take in only the best quality of books at Prince’s Paperbacks. Or, at least that was what his father had instilled in him from his youth, before he died when Kai was nineteen and left him to care for the store all by himself. But Kai had never minded his father’s work ethics— in fact, they were what he attributed the store’s success to.

Well, past success.

The door opened with the soft tinkle of a bell, and Kai almost dropped _Les Misérables_ on his foot for the second time in a minute. He set The Brick down before it could do any damage to him and his limbs, and walked to the front of the store with his customer-pleasing smile plastered to his face.

But when his eyes landed on the person— the woman— the _goddess_ — who had just stepped through the door, Kai felt his smile slide from his face. It was her— Selene Blackburn, quite possibly the most beautiful and talented actress on the planet. The one who he had watched on the big screen since his teens. She had been pretty stunning then, but somehow she was more lovely to look at now despite the decades that had passed.

She gave him an almost embarrassed smile, and it was only then that Kai realized that he was staring at her. Well, staring didn’t quite cover it— gawking, was probably more accurate. Jaw-dropped, eyes wide, with the possibility of red upon his cheeks.

“Hi,” she said, waving her hand before him, but less in a way of greeting and more in a way of saying _snap out of it_.

Kai blinked, his professional grin returning within an instant, though a tint of scarlet still colored his face. He walked toward her, wiping his hands over his button-down and jeans as if he were covered in dust, which in all actuality was a possibility.

“Hello,” Kai returned the greeting. “Welcome to Prince’s Paperbacks. I’m Kaito. Well, actually just Kai— Kai Prince,” Kai sputtered. He tried to place his hand on a bookshelf to steady himself, but somehow his fingers missed the wood and he stumbled to the side.

“Ah,” Selene said, pulling at the strings of her black hooded sweatshirt. Kai couldn’t make out her eyes behind her dark sunglasses, but from the inflection of her voice he could tell she wasn’t belittling him. “You must be the owner then.”

“That’s Kai— I mean, that’s me.”

Her lips quirked up, and Kai felt his heart sputter. Even with her blatant attempts to disguise herself, from the sunglasses and beanie to her baggy sweatshirt and jeans, she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. That grin— he was almost positive that he could stare at it forever, even if it was just the teensiest bit lopsided.

“Well I’m Cinder,” she said, lying to him despite the obvious fact that he very-much recognized her. Of course he did— he’d only been a _little_ bit smitten with her since he was seventeen and she starred in the _Star Wars_ TV series remake with Carswell Thorne and Jacin Clay. She was the girl that everyone had had a crush on.

But she still lied to his face for reasons he didn't think the stars could fathom.

“Uh, nice to meet you, Cinder,” Kai choked out her pseudonym. “Like I said, let me know if I can help you.”

“I don’t think you actually said that before,” Selene— _Cinder_ grinned. It was a smile that he had seen on her face a million times; of course, that had been on a movie screen, but still. He could imagine her eyes sparkling beneath those shaded glasses with that teasing look she always awarded to the love interest of every movie she was in. Er, at least he _hoped_ it was that same sparkly smile.

“Well,” Kai swallowed, spreading his hands out wide at his sides, as if he could release all his anxiety through that single motion. It didn’t work. “Is there anything I can help you with today? Any book in particular…?”

“Yes, actually,” Cinder admitted, taking a step toward Kai. It was that same slow, elegant walk she had in every movie, playing every protagonist— confident and sure of herself. Kai stumbled back a step.

“I’m looking for _Love in the Time of Cholera_ , by Gabriel García Márquez,” Cinder said, the words rolling off her tongue like her own form of poetry. “Do you, by any chance, happen to have a copy?”

“Y-yes,” Kai nodded, already walking back to the classics section. “I believe we have a copy, maybe even multiples?”

He reached the overflowing shelf, looking frantically through the _G’s_. His eyes stumbled upon Gaimar and Galton and Gann before finally landing on García. First he found three copies of _One Hundred Years of Solitude_ , a rather battered copy of _Chronicle of a Death Foretold_ , and an almost-new-looking copy of _Of Love and Other Demons_. Then his eyes skipped from García to Gardner, with no sighting of _Love in the Time of Cholera_.

“Huh,” Kai sighed, turning his head to look at Cinder and finding her to be standing only a few feet away from him. He jumped, whacking his head on the shelf and letting out a soft curse.

“Are you okay?” Cinder asked, her hand gently touching his shoulder. Kai felt a bolt of electricity run through him, but he somehow managed not to flinch at her touch.

“Yeah,” Kai whispered. “I just don’t think we have a copy…”

Kai’s eyes landed on a book smashed behind the three copies of One Hundred Years of Solitude, as if it were hiding from him. Kai pulled the triplet books out and grabbed the lost novel. He stared at the cover of _Love in the Time of Cholera_ , his eyes mapping the cream color with a central design he couldn't quite figure out.

Cinder peaked over at the book, saying, “Ah, you found it. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Kai muttered, handing it off to her, then reaching his fingers up to touch the sore spot on the back of his head.

They walked to the cash register, Kai still rubbing the small goose-egg forming beneath his hair, and wondering at the odd positioning of the book. Had someone hidden it away, not wanting it to be discovered? But who? He ran this store all by himself, save for weekend help from Cress, and she wasn’t the type to shove books away. Had it been a customer?

Kai scanned the sticker on the book and Cinder handed him a sleek silver credit card with the name Cinder Linh etched into the plastic. _Huh,_ he thought to himself. _What a weird pseudonym._

“Would you like a bag?” Kai asked, pulling a rather long receipt out of the small machine and tucking it inside the cover of the book. He tried to figure out what was on the cover— was that a person hidden in the shadows of the intricately designed red box?

“No, thank you,” Cinder said, taking the book from him and shooting one last grin his way. She pulled out a dollar bill and tucked it into the tip jar. “Thank you for your help, Kai.”

“You too,” Kai called out after her. “Er, I meant, have a good day!”

Cinder waved a hand over her shoulder, and then she was out the door and gone forever.

Kai sunk down upon his stool with a sigh, hiding his head in his hands. Selene Blackburn had just come into his shop— his tiny, failing bookstore. She had talked to him— she had touched his shoulder— and she had bought a book from him.

And Kai? Well, he had sputtered and stumbled and whacked his head on a bookshelf.

He let out a defeated chuckle, rolling his eyes at himself as he pulled his head up. That was when his gaze landed on the tip jar with a single dollar bill in it.

“You’re a millionaire actress, yet you only leave a one dollar tip,” Kai grumbled, trying to conjure up any semblance of anger toward her, but couldn’t find it in him. If he was her, and he’d had to suffer through his own customer service, he would have probably left no tip. Well, no, that wasn’t true, but still. Maybe it was all the cash she had on her.

Kai reached into the jar and pulled out the single bill, inspecting it with care. It was like any dollar bill— except for the ten digits scratched over George Washington’s face.

A grin broke over Kai’s face. He glanced from the bill to the door and then back at the numbers listed in a messy scrawl upon the green paper. Then he slipped the bill into his pocket, his thoughts abandoning his awkwardness, and instead allowing for the numbers to run through his head like their own kind of poetry.


	20. A Hopeful Wish

“Cress!” Cinder shouted toward the back room of the store, trying her best to hide her distress. Clearly her attempts at calm failed, as her co-worker came rushing out the next second, cheeks flushed and short blond hair in her face. **  
**

“What? What’s the matter?” Cress asked, pulling a strand of hair from her mouth with a look of disgust.

Cinder gestured toward the customer standing in front of her. He wore a smile that was quite possibly meant to look sweet but came off more devilish than anything else. Cinder had an instant dislike toward him, and from the moment he opened his mouth that dislike only seemed to grow.

“Mr. Thorne here has a programming issue and I have some… things I need to finish by four,” Cinder said, glancing down at her watch. She placed her hand on Cress’ shoulder as she brushed past her. “The Benoit’s computer, Peony’s tablet–”

“Kai’s phone,” Cress supplied, a mischievous grin spreading across her lips. “Yeah, I know. Go finish your work.”

“Thanks,” Cinder mumbled, nibbling on her bottom lip.

Cinder walked into the back room and picked up the discarded phone she had been working on before she’d switched Cress out for counter work. She absolutely despised talking to customers, but then again, so did Cress, and they had made a pact to split the work evenly. Of course Cinder loved running the tech store with her best friend, but sometimes their similarities made it difficult. 

They were the dream team duo for a tech store, with Cinder doing hardware and Cress on software. In fact, it had been their fantasy to open Burning Moon’s Tech Repairs since high school (the name being a fun play on both their names) and Cinder hadn’t regretted it for a moment since the doors opened only three years before. Except, of course, when her poor introverted, anxious soul had to greet customers.

Her fingers danced across her tools, picking apart the intricate workings of the device. It wasn’t completely true that she had to have Kai’s phone done by four, or any of the other projects for that matter. In fact, both Peony’s tablet and the Benoit’s computer would be dropped off to the respective owners by Cinder herself. She was taking her sister out for the night, as had been their weekly ritual since Cinder moved out, and they would, of course, be going to the restaurant Scarlet waitressed at. Overall, a win-win situation.

But with Kai’s phone— well, that was different. 

There was no need to get it done by four as they had not agreed upon a finishing date, but Cinder knew that he needed it by then or else things would get ugly between him and his editor for the second time in a month. Not that Cinder was keeping track of Kai and his work troubles.

Cress had teased her all day about the phone, much to Cinder’s dismay. Kai was Cress’ cousin, and also the only person who knew about Cinder’s crush. Cinder had been into Kai since sophomore year, and somehow, seven years later, she could still only seem to look at _him_.

It didn’t matter though— he would always think of her as his cousin’s weird friend, almost like a kid sister, though they were only ever a year apart in school. He would date fabulous girls while she watched from afar, forever idolizing Kai Prince.

Cinder glanced up at the clock. _3:58._ She let out a string of curses, though they weren’t necessary. She had finished the phone, and Kai was never early. Though he was never late either. Somehow, he was always perfectly on time. It was probably the journalist in him.

She clicked the pieces of the phone back together and tapped the home button. The screen immediately lit up, and Cinder’s heart skipped a beat when she saw the wallpaper for his lock screen. It was a photo of Kai and Cress and herself, with Kai’s arms wrapped around both girls as they laughed. It was a picture that she remembered having been taken of them on New Years Eve just the month before, but had never actually seen. Her eyes mapped his arm around her shoulder, and how his head leaned so close to hers that their faces were nearly touching.

“Hey,” a voice said at the same time a rapid trio of knocks ricocheted off the door.

Cinder dropped the phone to the table, her heart stopping as she looked up at Kai. He was gorgeous as ever in a white button down with slacks, and messy hair that she longed to run her fingers through. But she would never— not in a thousand years.

“H-Hi,” Cinder sputtered, picking up the phone from the table and wincing. 

“Uh-oh,” Kai laughed, walking over to sit on the stool beside her. He was close enough that she could smell him, the sweet scent of his cologne and perhaps whatever gel he put in his hair. “Did you just break my newly fixed phone?”

“Who says it was fixed?” Cinder quipped back, pressing the home button once more and watching the screen light up.

Kai snatched the device away from her, a smile lighting up his face. “You, you genius engineer.”

“It’s phone repair, not rocket science,” Cinder said, though her heart jumped just enough at the compliment. “And besides, it was easy. Just a small issue with your chip.”

Kai’s face paled, and he quickly opened his phone. “Did it affect the memory? Will anything be-”

“Everything’s fine, your interview was not erased,” Cinder cut him off, trying her best to sound soothing. She watched as he opened his Voice Memo app and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his interview at the top, dated to _7:19_ that morning.

“Bless you,” Kai clicked his phone off, then leaned over and pressed a kiss to Cinder’s cheek before she could react. In another instant, he was standing from his seat and offering a hand out to Cinder. Hesitantly, she took it, wondering if her heart had stopped completely as her fingers touched his.

“You saved me from getting murdered by my editor,” Kai said, leading her back out to Cress, his hand still holding hers. “Of course I had notes, but this woman talks so fast, especially for a politician,” Kai said, talking rather fast himself. “But I can get this in by my six-o-clock deadline. You are an angel.”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Cinder mumbled, not hearing a word he said, but thinking only of the way his fingers were holding her own.

They reached Cress in a rush, and Kai released Cinder from his hold. He gave Cress a pat on the back, then walked to stand in front of the counter. 

“How much for the repairs?” Kai asked, pulling his wallet out from his back pocket.

Cress started to respond, but Cinder cut her off. “Oh, it’s nothing,” she said, waving her hand at him.

Kai’s hands froze, and his gaze switched to Cinder. “You sure?”

“Positive,” Cinder said. “Now go! Write your article, and don’t die at the hands of Torin. Go!”

Kai gave her a grin, then put his wallet back into his pocket. “Thanks, Cinder,” he said, turning and walking toward the door. “Love you both! Let’s go out for drinks this weekend, okay?” He waved a hand over his shoulder, and then he was gone.

The instant his back disappeared from sight, Cress turned to Cinder, chewing on the back of her pen with a devilish sparkle in her eyes. Cinder huffed and twisted away from her friend so she wouldn’t have to stare at that ever-present, knowing look.

Cress laughed, and Cinder stormed into the back room, picking up Peony’s tablet and fidgeting with it, though her nerves were burning far too much for her to actually get any work done.

“You’re hopeless,” Cress giggled, making her way into the room and settling in the chair that Kai had occupied only minutes before. Cinder didn’t look at her, but made a more furious effort to look as if she were actually working.

“You know,” Cress said, sobering up enough that her words weren’t hindered by her lung’s bursts of joy. “We’re not in high school anymore. You’re twenty-three. You could ask him out. I guarantee he would say yes.”

“Yeah, because he’s nice, not because he would actually want to go,” Cinder grumbled, keeping her eyes fixed on the inner workings of her sister’s tablet. “And besides, he’ll always just think of me as your best friend— nothing more. I’m just that weird kid that never went away.”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

“But it is!” Cinder dropped the tablet and resisted the urge to pound her fist into the table. She was sick of this same speech from Cress _over_ and _over_ again. He wasn’t into her, and there was no use pretending that they could ever be a possibility, no matter how much Cinder, or even Cress wanted it. “You can’t just wish people into liking you.”

“You’re right,” Cress assented. “But in your case, I don’t think it’s just a hopeful wish.”

Cinder stared at the table and tried to process what Cress had just said to her. Did Cress actually think that Kai might return her affections? Not just hope such a ridiculous thing?

Cress patted Cinder on the head, brushing back loose strands of her hair. Then she walked back to the front counter without another word, leaving Cinder to brood in silence. 

Was it possible that Kai liked her— that he actually viewed her as a dateable girl rather than his cousin’s friend? Or was that just Cress indulging on a fantasy?

Cinder let out a dramatic sigh, then picked up Peony’s tablet once more. It didn’t matter how Kai thought of her, or how much she liked him. She couldn’t make a move— he was her friend above all else, and she wasn’t about to ruin that. 

Because no matter how much it hurt to watch him not love her, it would kill her to watch him become a stranger.


	21. A Hopeful Wish (Pt. 2)

"Hey," a voice greeted from behind Cinder. She turned to look at the familiar face, but in the next instance he was sliding into the booth beside her, scooting close enough that their knees touched. Cinder moved her legs away.

"How are you guys doing? I feel like it's been an eternity since we've all hung out together," Kai said, glancing first at Cress and then turning his attention to Cinder who was doing her very best not to blush.

"We were all together New Year's Eve at Scar's party," Cress said, picking up a handful of peanuts from the table's center bowl and throwing them back into her mouth. "Except you kept trying to conduct interviews the whole night, you filthy workaholic."

Kai laughed at this, lightly tapping Cress' arm with his menu. "Hey, it's not my fault that people were staying sober! If everyone had been drunk I wouldn't have dared to interview a soul."

"Look at you, being all ethical," Cinder teased, knocking her arm into his lightly. Cress caught the motion and gave Cinder a secretive little smirk.

"I think I need to use the restroom," Cress said, scooting out of the booth. "I'll be right back."

"Don't you need me to come with?" Cinder asked, giving Cress a pointed _I-know-what-you're-doing_ look.

"Oh no, I'll be fine," Cress waved her hand. " _Kesley's_ never has any creeps."

Cinder watched her friend walk away, making sure no strange man hit on her before she made it to the bathroom. Of course it was true that _Kesley's_ , though a bar, had very few creeps. Perhaps it was because the owner, a guy they liked to call Wolf because of his massive canines and bark-like laughter would beat the living hell out of any harassers. But still, Cinder worried.

She pulled at the sleeve of her black blouse, trying to look anywhere that wasn't Kai. But somehow her wandering eyes made it back to Kai, watching him and the way his face fell into seriousness when he was trying to concentrate. He was perusing his menu despite the fact that the three of them had been coming to _Kesley's_ on the regular since Cress turned twenty-one.

A waiter came by the table and dropped off three glasses of water, saying he would be back for their orders in a minute. Cinder glared at the clear liquid within her glass, feeling her mouth go dry with nerves. Without hesitating, she downed the contents of her glass without stopping for breath, the liquid doing nothing to quench her nerves.

"Thirsty?" Kai asked, watching Cinder chug the glass, his face resting on his hand as he stared at her. Cinder nearly choked on her last swallow, setting the glass back down on the table with a clatter. Kai chuckled, patting her on the back.

"Thanks," Cinder coughed, turning her face away so he couldn't see her eyes watering.

"Please don't die," Kai chuckled, giving her one final pat on the back. "It would be a great shame if you died," Kai said dramatically, and Cinder couldn't help but peak back at him. He was smiling at her— _stars, was he always smiling at her?_ —though his eyes looked slightly concerned.

"Why?" Cinder sputtered, letting out a final, feeble cough.

Kai smirked, and for a minute Cinder thought he was going to confess his undying love for her, despite the fact that she still believed her affections to be unrequited. "Because then who would fix my phone and save me from Torin's wrath?"

Cinder deflated slightly, but let out a small, very fake laugh all the same. She leaned her back against the wall, her body turned toward Kai despite the aching feeling in her chest that concerned him and only him.

"No no, but in all seriousness, I would miss you dearly should you ever disappear from my life in any capacity," Kai said, taking a sip of his water.

"You would?"

Kai looked at her as if that were the most outrageous question in the world. "Are you kidding, Cinder? I think I would be destroyed if something were to happen to you."

Cinder perked up a little at this, but tried to staunch her imagination from running wild with his words. Of course he would miss her— they had been friends since they were kids. It didn't mean that he had any feelings toward her.

They stared at one another for a moment, and Cinder thought she could see a hint of fear in his eyes as he looked at her. He opened his mouth to say something more, but just then, Cress slid back into the booth, nibbling on her lip as she glanced between the two of them. She looked almost regretful.

"What are you guys doing?" Cress asked, hesitant.

Kai turned to her, all seriousness gone as his usual smile returned to his face. "Oh, you know, just talking about death."

***

Cress wrapped her arms around Cinder's middle, giggling as she nearly brought the both of them to the ground. None of them had had much to drink that night, but Cress had the alcohol tolerance of a kitten.

" _Woah_ ," Cress sighed, looking up at Cinder with crossed eyes. "Is your hair brown? I a-always wished I h-had brown hair," Cress hiccupped.

"Yours will probably turn brown someday," Cinder said, patting Cress' head.

"Like R-Rapunzel?" Cress asked, sounding almost childlike. "D-do I need to cut m-my hair?"

"Nah," Kai said, opening the door to the back seat of his car. Cinder and Cress had walked to the bar, since it was only a few blocks from their apartment and Cress was very much into energy conservation and all that, but there was no way Cinder could get Cress home after her pair of beers. "It will turn naturally as you age. Just look at your dad."

"M-my dad's hair is w-white," Cress whined, as Cinder gently laid her down in the back seat. "I want my h-hair to be brown."

"Well, your dad's hair was brown before he got old," Kai explained, though his words were almost teasing. Cinder grabbed his arm, trying her very best not to laugh at him.

"There's no use reasoning with her when she's like this," Cinder whispered into Kai's ear. She teetered slightly with the motion of lifting up on her toes, and Kai slid his arm around her to stop from falling. Maybe she was a bit tipsy after all.

Cinder swallowed, looking up into Kai's eyes. He was staring at her in a way that he had never stared at her before, or perhaps a way she had never noticed him looking at her, for his gaze was almost familiar. She felt her breath hitch as his eyes dropped from hers down to her lips.

"We should probably get her home before she yaks in your car," Cinder whispered, her own eyes flickering between Kai's brilliant copper eyes and his thin, pale lips. She could feel her heart racing, but also Kai's— for in her near fall her hand had landed on his chest, just over his heart. It beat rather quickly, though perhaps that was normal for him. Cinder wouldn't know; she'd never felt Kai's heartbeat before.

"Yeah," Kai breathed, though he did not let go of Cinder.

It was almost as if a spell had been cast over them, for it seemed impossible for either party to move away from the other. Neither pair of arms could let go, and both sets of eyes couldn't seem to stop looking. And for a moment, Cinder knew that her feelings weren't one-sided— that Kai wanted her just as much as she wanted him.

But then an awful retching sound came from Kai's car, and the spell was broken. That moment was gone, lost as the two released one another and rushed to Cress' aid. 


	22. A Hopeful Wish (Pt. 3)

Cinder slumped down on her couch, feeling completely and utterly exhausted. She smelled of cleaning products, which made her nose itch, and her body ached from a week of working. She wanted for nothing more than to close her eyes and drift off to sleep, but she couldn't— not just yet.

Kai dropped down beside her, his lids half-closed and his white shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. It was almost aggravating how, after a night of cleaning up his cousin’s vomit and carrying her up the four flights of stairs to her apartment, he still managed to look incredible.

Both let out a sigh, then laughed when they realized what they had done, turning to each other with goofy, sleep-deprived smiles. It wasn’t incredibly late, only about half past midnight, but after all the hustle and bustle of the last hour, it felt much later.

“So,” Kai said as their laughter died down, “before Cress puked rather impressively, what was going on?”

Cinder’s smile froze on her face, and suddenly she could hear the deep _ba-bum_ of her heart echoing in her ears. Was he talking about their night of talking all together in the bar, or the closeness that they had shared, with breaths so close and faces nearly touching?

She said nothing, too afraid to guess wrong. He continued, “Because I, um, well, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been dreaming of a moment like that for a while now. I just– I don’t want to ruin anything, and if it was just a heat of the moment thing then I totally understand and we can just forget out the whole thing–”

“Stop,” Cinder closed her eyes and held a hand up to end his rapid speech. “You’re talking too fast.”

“Sorry,” Kai whispered. Cinder opened her eyes to look at him and saw him gazing back, his cheeks tinted pink. His body was turned to her, with one knee on the couch, just inches away from touching her thigh. She swallowed, wondering if this was all some sort of hallucination. Maybe she was already asleep back on her bed, and Kai had left their apartment. Perhaps this was all a dream. Or maybe a misunderstanding. Because if he was saying what she thought he was saying— no, he couldn’t be.

Kai swallowed, opened his mouth, then closed it again. He never took his gaze from Cinder, though the look turned from questioning to painful, as if by looking at her he had discovered something that hurt him.

“Cinder,” Kai started, and Cinder was startled to hear the quaver in his voice— never before had she heard him speak without confidence or joy. He sounded only scared and pained now. “I need to tell you something." He said the words as if he were about to tell her that the world was ending. "I thought I could live with it buried inside me forever, but I just can’t stand it anymore. I tried to convince myself that losing you would be more painful than living with it. But even if that’s true, I can’t keep living like this.”

“Living like what?” Cinder asked, almost breathless.

“Living with the fact that I am in love with my best friend,” Kai mumbled, closing his eyes shut for a moment before they refocused on her. His hands were in his lap, clenched into white-knuckled fists. Cinder reached over and placed a hand atop them. Kai’s whole body relaxed with that single touch.

“I’m in love with you, Cinder,” Kai whimpered, his eyes glittering as they flickered between her own. “I’ve been in love with you for years, but I just… I knew you didn’t feel the same. Or at least I thought that until tonight…”

He trailed off, looking at her imploringly, his eyes begging for her to say something. She wanted to say a lot of things— to ask him if this was a prank, or to declare her undying love for him as well. In all honesty, some part of her wanted to stand and whoop for joy. But she was frozen in this moment of truth. It was like that moment in _The Empire Strikes Back_ when Leia professes her love, except in this rendition she’s moments too late and Han is already frozen in carbonite.

“Are…” Cinder gulped, then tried again. “Are you serious?”

Kai deflated with the question, but nodded sullenly, head bowed.

“Okay,” Cinder said, though more to herself than Kai. Her mind was whirring at the speed of light with this confirmation. Kai was in love with her. Kai was in love with her.

_Kai was in love with her._

Cinder turned her own body toward Kai, her knee coming up to rest beside his, not just touching but pressing against one another. Her fingers searched out his, and twined with them, the ever-freezing limbs warm within his grasp.

“I…” Cinder let out a laugh, suddenly realizing just how absurd this all was. Kai had just confessed his love for her and was now terrified that she would never speak to him again— that she did not return his affections. “Kai, I’ve been in love with you since I was sixteen,” Cinder said, her words slurred with laughter and happy tears.

Kai blinked, as if he were dumbfounded by this piece of information, then he began to laugh too. They laughed and laughed and then laughed some more, because it suddenly seemed so ridiculous. Were they both so clueless? Too blinded by their own emotions to see the other’s clearly written in every action?

“Since– since you were sixteen?” Kai wheezed, leaning his head on Cinder’s shoulder as tears of mirth streamed from his eyes. “Are you kidding me?”

“No,” Cinder snorted— actually snorted. “I realized that I was in love with you over the summer before the start of my Junior year, when we pulled that all-nighter with Cress but she fell asleep so you said we should go out and look at the stars. Then we sat on the roof for hours, just talking about anything and everything until the sun finally came over the horizon.”

Kai smiled, all laughter gone, but a completely dreamy look overcoming his features. Cinder could feel her face mirroring his, remembering that precious memory. That night that had been just the two of them under every constellation the sky had to offer.

“What about you?” Cinder asked, leaning her head against the couch cushion, just mere inches from Kai’s face. “When did you know you were in love with me.”

“About a year before you did,” Kai said, sounding almost as if he were bragging.

“What?” Cinder smacked his arm lightly, though this only caused for him to laugh.

“Start of _my_ Junior year, first day of school,” Kai grinned. “We had P.E. together and that one boy— Wolf’s brother, I’m forgetting his name–”

“Ran,” Cinder supplied.

“Yes,” Kai snapped his fingers. “Yeah, Ran tried to pants you, and you just turned and punched him straight in the nose.”

“You fell in love with me after I beat a boy bloody?”

Kai smiled, the goofy sort of smile that included his tongue sticking out slightly between his teeth, and his eyes blinking slowly as he looked at only her. Cinder could feel her heart beating in her chest as he watched her. She could hear only their breathing, and see only his eyes as they flickered between her own, then fell to look at her lips.

Slowly, Kai brought his hand up to rest on Cinder’s cheek, brushing stray strands of hair from her face. Cinder couldn’t breathe as she watched him— felt the burning electricity pulsing between the few inches of space between them. It was almost as if nothing existed except for them, and in Cinder’s mind, maybe it had always just been the two of them.

“I wanted to kiss you at Scar’s party,” Kai mumbled, his nose touching hers in their closeness. It was so tantalizing— Cinder wanted to close that breath of space between them and kiss him until they forgot everything except one another. “I was too scared though.”

“Are you scared now?” Cinder asked, her words almost inaudible.

“ _Terrified_.”

Then their lips met, and it was nothing like Cinder ever could have imagined. For in her fantasies she had always been happy— overjoyed. But now, she felt just love, and it was somehow better than being ecstatic or delighted. It was overwhelming how wonderful it felt.

They broke apart, both smiling to their ears as they tried to remember how to breathe again. They were nothing but hands and heartbeats and that feeling of everything being right in the world at long last.

“I never thought–”

“I know,” Cinder laughed. Then she grabbed his face, and kissed him once more, or quite possibly for forever. Because now that her hopeful wish had become a dream come true, she never planned on letting it go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this little baby series!


	23. Moonlight Kiss

Kai eased back into his seat, a smile creeping onto his face as he observed the people bustling about on the plane, tucking suitcases into overhead carriers and spreading blankets over laps. He had always enjoyed flying and knowing that he would soon be thousands of feet in the air sent an exhilarating feeling through him. The wonder of looking out a window and seeing clouds was simply magical, creating the illusion of being somewhere other than Earth. Although, he wouldn't get much of a view of the clouds on this flight, seeing how he'd gotten stuck with the aisle seat.

He pulled out his phone and dragged his earbuds out of his pocket, grunting as he untangled the white cords. But the soft thrum of the drums in The Cure's "Just Like Heaven" brought an instant smile to his face. He had to resist the urge to jump into full-on dance mode, complete with shimmy and all.

A hand tapped his shoulder, and Kai flinched, bursting out of his own world and back into the present. A pretty girl smiled sheepishly at him, her messy dark hair falling out of its ponytail and framing her face in a mesmerizing manner.

"Hi," Kai said, pulling out an earbud.

"Sorry," the girl said. "I'm in the seat next to you, and I didn't want to interrupt your, um, dance party by shoving my butt in your face."

Kai grinned, then stood from his seat and allowed for her to move past him. She thanked him graciously, immediately buckling her seatbelt and staring out the window. Kai settled down once more, but didn't replace his earbud, curiosity nagging at him as he watched this girl.

Her knees bounced with a frenetic energy that almost made Kai anxious despite his complete comfort with airplanes. At first he wondered if she was cold, seeing how her only attire was a black tank-top and exercise leggings, but her arms were free of goose pimples and she did not wrap her arms around herself in the way one devoid of warmth might.

"Have you flown before?" Kai asked, pulling the second bud from his ear and twisting the cord around his cellular device.

"No," the girl shook her head, biting on her lower lip. She did not turn to face him, but rather continued to stare out at the people below preparing the flight, stained in rain-speckled uniforms and carrying luminous batons.

"Oh," Kai responded, not entirely sure what to say next. "Are you, um, nervous?" Kai asked, his voice tinted with nerves of his own, but for reasons not associated with the prospect of being airborne.

The girl laughed, then swiveled around to face him, though her face was pale and her eyes remained tinged with unease. "Just a bit," she sighed.

"Well, don't," Kai said, then grimaced. "I mean, it's not bad— really. I've flown loads of times, and I've never had anything other than smooth sailing. Er, flying, I guess," he blustered, heat flooding his cheeks. "Also, I'm Kai, by the way."

"Cinder," the girl smiled, taking his outstretched hand in her own and shaking. "I just don't really know what to expect. I mean, I've seen it all in movies, but I just..." she trailed off, her eyes wide and cautious.

"Well, there will be a lot of annoying instructional videos telling you how to fasten your seatbelt," Kai said, ticking it off on his finger. "Then they'll announce that we're taking off. We'll speed down the runway, jump off into the sky— which makes your stomach do that whole fluttery laughing thing— then we'll fly and fly and fly until we reach our destination."

"Very instructional," Cinder rolled her eyes, though there was a certain lack of menace in the act.

"As you can tell, I'm an expert on the subject," Kai chuckled. "So let me know if you have any questions." He saluted her, to which she responded with two rapid blinks and a grunt.

Kai's innards squirmed uncomfortably, and he wished that there was someone there to kick him. He was generally good with people— it's what made him such a good journalist. People enjoyed talking to him. But somehow this girl made all his people skills fly right out the window, which allowed for derpy weird Kai to take control and make a complete and utter fool of himself.

Minuted passed in silence, and Cinder returned to looking out the window, her legs bouncing and her face contorted with anxiety. Kai tried to ignore her, putting in his earbuds once more, and not taking them out even as the captain of the flight, Carswell Thorne, announced that they would be taking off momentarily. He allowed for the words of Elvis Costello in his song "She" to flood all his thoughts and emotions, conjuring up distant memories long gone to the past.

It wasn't until the plane picked up speed down the runway that Kai could no longer ignore the girl who made him flustered. She grabbed his hand, her eyes wide and panicked, her knuckles white. Kai stared at her, unsure of what to do. Then, as if in a haze, he took out his right earbud and stuck it in her ear, brushing the loose hair around her face out of the way with a soft caress.

She blinked, then, after a few moments, all the tension left her body. The plane lifted off the runway and was airborne, but she watched Kai all the while, silent as ever, but unwavering in her gaze. Kai stared back, unsure whether he should talk to her or simply remain in this catatonic state. Finally he decided on turning up his palm, allowing for her fingers to intertwine with his own.

"It's okay," Kai said, squeezing her hand. The song had changed to "God Only Knows" by the Beach Boys, filling their ears with soft keys and percussion.

As if coming out of a haze, Cinder suddenly shook her head and dropped Kai's hand. "Sorry," she said, cringing.

"It's no problem," Kai replied, aiming for nonchalance but erring more on the side of mumbling.

She moved to take the earbud out of her ear, but Kai stopped her, saying, "Keep it. The Beach Boys soothe all."

Cinder let out a nervous laugh, but dropped her hand back into her lap. She turned away from Kai, settling her hands in her lap, but twisting them together in a way that looked rather uncomfortable.

"Why are you flying to Denver," Kai asked, too curious not to ask.

Cinder tensed, shutting her eyes for a moment before she responded. "Because it's not Portland."

"Huh," Kai said, itching to question further but sensing from her tone and body language that this was somewhat of a touchy subject. "I'm just going for the weekend, to visit my father for his birthday. Actually, it's sort of a surprise. I didn't think I'd get time off work, but..." Kai trailed off, watching her profile. Her eyes were squeezed shut and she was breathing in a slow, purposeful manner.

He decided that perhaps conversation was not helping to ease her flight-associated anxiety and shut up. Through all his many flights, he'd sat next to a large sum of people who found the whole ordeal frightening, but they'd always engaged in friendly conversation with him and been fine. But Cinder was terrified in a way that Kai wasn't equipped to deal with.

Letting out a sigh, Kai melted back into his seat, staring at the screen in front of him. He never much liked watching movies on planes— he could never see what was going on, and the sound quality was always coming in and out. And besides, his music was plenty, allowing for him to feel as if he were in a dream or movie as the clouds soared around him.

The song changed, and beside him, Cinder perked up, her head tilting to the side. "Moonlight Kiss?" She asked, her brow furrowing. "You listen to Bap Kennedy?"

Kai laughed, tossing his phone meditatively between his palms. "It's in a movie— _Serendipity_...?" Kai raised an eyebrow but Cinder only frowned. "Uh, well, it's really good. This whole playlist is just a compilation of songs from my favorite movies. It makes me feel as if I'm... living in them, I guess."

Cinder nodded her head, a smile creeping up her cheeks. "I love this song," she whispered, closing her eyes once more. She said nothing more, but Kai turned on his phone and placed the song on repeat. And when the song ended and started again, she let out a soft sigh.

Kai allowed himself to fall into the moment of the song, imagining himself wandering around New York, hand in hand with the woman he loved as the snow fell around them. He pictured the Christmas lights and the ice skating rink and the smell of frozen hot chocolate and the way the whipped cream melted on one's tongue.

A slight pressure upon Kai's shoulder jolted him from this reverie, and he turned his head to discover that Cinder had fallen asleep. Her mouth was open just a little, and her hair came about her face. Kai couldn't help but smile at her peaceful features, keeping perfectly still so as not to wake her from this slumber.

He closed his eyes once more, reveling in the feeling of her asleep on his shoulder for reasons he couldn't quite understand, unable to sleep. He fell back into the world of Serendipity as "Moonlight Kiss" played again and again, imagining himself wandering the streets of New York, with this girl by his side, wishing to live forever in _a night like this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to listen to the playlist Kai has, you can find it on my Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4jJzBGqsYVmviuRWM97bM1) or go to the link on my tumblr. Happy Valentine's Day lovelies!!


	24. Blackbird

Kai heaved a sigh as he left his meeting, checking his port even as he meandered out into the hall. He let out a curse when he saw the time, picking up his pace and rushing to the royal suite, all the while Torin’s voice echoed in his head: _royals never rush_. But Kai had never been particularly good at following that rule.

He didn’t run, but one couldn’t exactly call whatever he was doing walking. He absolutely despised being late for bedtime, though he seemed to be missing it more and more lately. Of course he adored his country— would do just about anything for it— but sometimes he wished he could hit the pause button on the world’s issues and just spend time with his wife and son.

As Kai approached his son’s room, he heard the quiet hum of voices. He leaned against the doorway, listening as Cinder whispered the closing lines of Rikan’s favorite picture book, and couldn’t help but close his eyes and revel in the sound of it all. After attending meeting after meeting full of people arguing continuously about different issues in the world, there was something so comforting in the soft lull of a storyteller's voice and the gentle breathing of a child.

“...And they lived happily ever after, the end,” Cinder concluded, setting her port aside.

Kai walked into the room, smiling as he took in Cinder kissing the top of Rikan’s black-haired head. It was strange how much he resembled Kai, even at three years old, all the way down to the striking copper of his eyes.

“Daddy!” Rikan cheered, his eyes landing on Kai.

“Hey, Ri,” Kai grinned, kissing Cinder on the cheek and wandering over to the other side of the bed. He settled in against his son, pulling him close in a hug. They were one big royal family sandwich— just the way Kai liked it. “Did mommy read you a story?”

“Yeah,” Rikan said, nodding his head rigorously and scratching at his nose in the absent-minded way only a child could do. “There was a dragon.”

“Oh, you know it’s a good story when there’s a dragon,” Kai replied. He reached his arm around Rikan and absentmindedly began to play with Cinder’s hair. She leaned into his touch.

“We were just about to go to bed,” Cinder said, giving Kai a pointed look over their son’s head.

“Mommy’s gonna sing a song,” Rikan smiled mischievously. “Backbird.”

“Or really?” Kai smirked, to which Cinder sent him an annoyed glare.

“Torin introduced him to some second era music today and for some reason he really took to this band from the United Kingdom called The Beatles,” Cinder explained. In the time since he'd learned to walk and talk, Rikan had taken to following Torin around the palace, which, to his credit, the old advisor didn’t much mind. But being the busy man he was and believing that ports should not be given to young children, Torin preferred to share old music with the young prince. “You probably know a few of their songs— ‘Here Comes the Sun’ was written by them. You know, that song that they used for pro-lunar integration? Anyways, Ri really likes this one called 'Blackbird.'”

“Backbird,” Rikan repeated cheerily.

“I know the Beatles,” Kai exclaimed, blinking rapidly. Cinder stared, tilting her head to the side. “I mean, I grew up following Torin around too,” Kai explained. “My mom loved them as well, though she was more of a ‘Golden Slumbers’ kind of person. But I remember ‘Blackbird.’”

“Will you sing Backbird, daddy?” Rikan asked, eyes wide as he stared up at his father.

“Oh, um–”

“Yeah, dad, why don’t you sing ‘Blackbird’ for us,” Cinder grinned, trying not to laugh.

“Alright then,” Kai said, swallowing sharply. “Settle in, and mommy and I will sing ‘Blackbird’ to you.” Kai sent Cinder a wink, to which she rolled her eyes.

Rikan laid back against his pillows, shutting his eyes briefly before staring up at his parents with an expectant look in his eyes. Cinder turned out the lights, leaving them in near darkness, with only dim illumination coming from the hall. Both parents snuggled in on either side of Rikan and Cinder gently traced her right index finger over their son’s face in the way that always seemed to lull him to sleep.

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night._

Kai began, his voice wavering just slightly. He’d never been a particularly good singer, despite finding joy in the act. Though she would never admit it, Cinder had an excellent voice— one that Kai always yearned to listen to. It was almost strange how wondrous her voice was. It was almost sad that she rarely sung, though perhaps that made the rare occasions in which she did that much more magical.

_Take these broken wings and learn to fly_

_All your life_

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise._

Rikan heaved a great sigh— the kind that only those who had fallen in the traps of sleep or dangled close above could breathe. Kai smiled down at him, then looked up at Cinder. Her eyes were dreamy and far away, and Kai was surprised to see that her mouth was open, prepared to sing the next verse. Kai placed his hand on her cheek.

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_

_Take these sunken eyes and learn to see_

_All your life_

_You were only waiting for this moment to be free._

Kai couldn’t help the soft sigh that escaped him as his wife sang, or the sudden spread of warmth throughout his chest. And somehow, he found himself singing the chorus with her, his weaker voice soft below hers, but somehow beautiful; the charm of her voice only adding to his, rather than outshining it.

_Blackbird fly, blackbird fly_

_Into the light of the dark black night._

_Blackbird fly, blackbird fly_

_Into the light of the dark black night._

Cinder caressed Rikan’s face one final time, then leaned down and kissed his forehead. Kai followed, brushing the locks of hair out of his son’s face. The pair got up and walked to the door, hand in hand as they watched Rikan.

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night._

Cinder sang, her voice almost a whisper. Kai wrapped his arm around her from behind, kissing her just below her jaw. He joined in on the next line, his words brushing against her ear.

_Take these broken wings and learn to fly_

_All your life_

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise._

Slowly, the pair backed out of the room.

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise._

They glanced at one another at the click of the door, and suddenly, Kai was sucked back into the moment that he had first met her all those years ago, despite her finer clothes and the years she had gained. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her with a love that never seemed to die. And when they broke apart, still holding one another close, he whispered the final line of the song in her ear.

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise._


	25. Normal

“Cinder, I can tell when you’re reading stuff on your brain interface,” Iko huffed, rolling her eyes in agitation. It was almost frightening how human she was, despite being, well, not human. “Won’t you look at me while I’m talking to you? I’m trying to help you get a life.”

“Sorry,” Cinder sighed, switching out of the article she had been looking at and giving Iko her full attention. “I was just reading about the new Letumosis outbreak in the US–”

Iko put a hand over Cinder’s mouth, her golden eyes fierce as she glared at Cinder. They were in New Beijing Palace, which still felt weird even though Cinder had lived there for a few months now. It was late—they were the only ones still up and working— but Iko was dressed in an elaborate rainbow-colored dress that somehow made her hair look more electric than ever. Meanwhile, Cinder wore a less spectacular dress, but it was soft and fluttery and comfortable.

“That can wait until tomorrow,” Iko said, grabbing Cinder by the arm and pulling her down the hall. “You need to take a night off— enjoy being young.”

“What the hell are you going on about?”

“Well, you’re getting married in a few months, and all you do is work,” Iko complained. “Take the night off. It’s far too late to get any work done now anyway. Just relax. Have some fun.”

They turned the corner and a stretch of moonlight lit up the hall, flowing in through the glass walls. It was a hallway that overlooked the palace gardens, and it glowed with a bluish tinge in the darkness, despite the vibrant flowers grown in the garden.

“It’s not even ten yet,” Cinder complained, though her heart was hardly in it as she looked out over the trees with soft green leaves and flowers in full bloom.

Iko caught her longing stare and shot her an evil grin. “You’re right,” she said, her synthetic eyes full of mischief. “That means there’s still enough time for a bit of fun tonight.”

***

“Torin, I still have to look over those documents for the meeting tomorrow,” Kai complained as his advisor dragged him from his work desk. “And we need to figure out a game plan for what we’re going to do with the issues concerning Lunar cooperation with the United Kingdom.”

“That can wait until tomorrow,” Torin said, his voice almost gruff, which was quite unusual for him. Normally Torin was all gentleness and calm, but he was rather agitated for reasons that Kai could not understand. _He_ was the one pulling Kai from his work after all.

“What could you possibly need me for at this hour?” Kai demanded, though he was no longer fighting Torin as he pulled him along through the dimly-lit hallways of the palace.

“I told you, Your Majesty,” Torin said, refusing to call Kai by his name even now. “There’s something I want you to see.”

“Well this better be something spectacular,” Kai grumbled as they turned out to the secret passageway that led to the palace gardens.

Torin checked his port and grinned at Kai as he pushed open the door to the gardens, a sparkle of mischief in his eyes. “Believe me, Your Majesty, it is.”

There were two doors that led to this particular spot in the palace gardens, facing across from one another. A glass hallway rested above them— a change that Kai’s own mother had directed so that she could view the place every day as she walked to and fro throughout the palace.

But as Torin opened one door, the opposite door opened as well, revealing Cinder on the other end. Kai couldn’t help the happy little gasp that escaped him as he rushed past Torin and to Cinder. She moved for him in the same moment, and they met in the middle of that garden, all limbs and laughter and untouchable joy.

Kai pulled Cinder into his arms and spun her around, her pale blue dress fluttering almost magically beneath the moonlight. In the distance he heard Iko let out a sigh, but ignored her as he set Cinder down and kissed her with a fervor.

It felt as if it had been years since he’d seen her, even though it had only been a matter of hours. He hadn’t realized how much he yearned to see her until she was there, and he was there, and all that was left between them was distance.

“Iko dragged me away from work,” Cinder whispered, her arms wrapped around his neck. He kissed her face, his lips trailing from her mouth to her cheek to her jaw to her neck. “But now I can’t seem to remember what was so important.”

“Me neither,” Kai sighed. His lips met Cinder’s again, and all he could think about was her and the way that she tasted and felt pressed up against him.

After a time, they broke apart and sat down on the grass. They lay down together, side by side, Kai’s arm resting under Cinder’s head and her arm thrown over his body. It was cool outside, but in a manner that was refreshing rather than chilly.

They stared up at the stars, marveling at the universe and the way it splayed out before them in such a magnificent way. Cinder whispered the constellations to Kai, and he complained that she had the unfair advantage of a computer in her brain to map them out, and it was all completely perfect.

“We need to do this more often,” Kai said, his fingers playing with the ends of Cinder’s hair. “I know we’re both busy with all the wedding stuff and running a country and a half, but…” Kai trailed off, turning his face toward Cinder’s. “I miss you. I know it’s strange, seeing how we see each other every day— fall asleep together and wake up—but I miss these moments where it’s quiet and just, normal, I guess.”

“Me too,” Cinder yawned, kissing Kai’s cheek. “I think we could both use a little less work and a little more normal. We’ll have to thank Iko and Torin.”

Kai hummed in response, kissing the top of her head. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to him, and she dragged him close to her in return. And in that moment, all their worries were gone, replaced with the knowing feeling of one another and a strange but certain sense of normalcy.


	26. Almost Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE BLOOD AND/OR NEEDLES THEN DON'T READ
> 
> this is a part two to the shot Butterfly's Kiss

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Kai asked, his hands shaking as he pulled his saline syringe from its plastic covering. “Because if you’re nervous, I can just not do it.”

“Shut up, will you?” Cinder grumbled, shaking her head as she watched Kai unwrap his equipment. “And stop trying to put your nerves off on me. I couldn’t care less what you stick me with.” Cinder blushed. “I mean, I don’t care if it's a butterfly, a straight, or an IV. It’s all the same to me.”

Kai mumbled something incoherently, trying to keep his thoughts straight as he assembled his tape, needle, and gauze. They were doing IV’s today, something that Kai had been dreading since he read the class’s curriculum, which in all honesty hadn’t been until his third day in class, but still. The weeks leading up to this moment had been pure torment.

It was their fifth week in class, and while Kai had gotten used to sticking people with needles— sort of— he was absolutely terrified of the prospect of IV’s. With normal draws there was little that could go wrong if he followed all the right steps. But with IV’s there was a whole new world of issues that could spring up, from the catheter twisting to him not ecluding enough and blood flowing freely.

“Or you could do me first,” Kai said, sticking three strips of tape to the back of his glove just as Iko had instructed them. “You have a far better track record with sticking than I do. It only makes sense.”

“Kai,” Cinder said his name with an intensity that caused him to stop in his tracks as he looked into her eyes. There was kindness in her features, but also a firmness. “I already did an IV on Jacin last class while you were finishing up your dermal punctures with Thorne. And besides," she waved her hand through the air. "You need to just get it over with. It’s not bad at all.”

“Oh,” was all that Kai could say. He finished arranging his equipment on the chux pad, making sure that nothing touched the table.

They waited in silence as the instructors made the rounds. Though the class was small, IV’s were time-consuming, and it was most everyone’s first day trying it. Only Cinder and Jacin had already done IV’s, being the best stickers in the class. If the two of them paired up more often, Kai was sure their pass-off sheets could have been filled in ten times over. But for some reason, Cinder kept pairing up with Kai despite all his nerves. He was glad for it. Because while Jacin was his dear friend, he didn’t have the same level of patience Cinder did. And, well, Kai didn’t exactly _feel_ the same way toward Jacin as he did Cinder.

Darla came to their table then— for they practiced IV’s at their desks rather than the phlebotomy chairs— a smile plastered onto her face as she took in Kai’s set up. She nodded her approval. “Have you selected a vein?”

“Yeah,” Kai mumbled, rubbing his index finger over Cinder’s cephalic vein. It wasn’t quite as big as her median vein which would have been preferable, but she had a nasty hematoma from a rather unfortunate partnership with Carswell Thorne just a few days before and Kai didn't want to cause her pain.

“Alright, looks like you’re good to go then. Did you make sure it’s straight? You don’t want it any bunching with the catheter.”

“I did,” Kai said, pulling out his blue tourniquet. “It gets a little bendy further up but I’m going to start here,” Kai pointed at a point about an inch below the bend of her elbow. Cinder held perfectly still as he traced the curve of her arm.

“Did you check your needle? Make sure the catheter is functional?”

“Yes,” Kai responded, touching his recapped needle. “I also got the connecting tube set up, though I didn’t draw the air out of it. I figured I’d do that by drawing it out with the plunger. And the saline flush it set up as well.”

“Great!” Darla exclaimed, tapping Kai jovially on the shoulder. “Looks like you’re adequately prepared. You may now begin.”

“Okay,” Kai whispered, more to himself than anyone else. He sanitized the area thoroughly, then waited for it to dry. He tied the tourniquet around Cinder’s arm, a few inches above the bend of her elbow. The limb was splayed out flat over the table, completely still as his fingers deftly tucked the end of his tourniquet in.

With almost steady hands, Kai picked up his needle, uncapping the loose lid and making sure that the bevel was straight, far enough out from the catheter to be effective. This was what scared him most about IV’s— the catheter. They made the needle look almost bendy, though he knew that it wasn’t.

“You’ve got this,” Cinder whispered, clenching her fist tight. “Just go for it.”

So Kai did.

The needle went in smoother than he had imagined it would despite its extra bulk. He had worried so much about kinks in the catheter, but Cinder’s vein was nice and straight, allowing for a smooth puncture. He gingerly touched the skin where the needle rested below, assuring himself that there were no issues.

“Great stick,” Darla commented, bowing her head over Kai’s work. “Now untie your tourniquet, eclude and withdraw the needle.”

Kai did as he told her, pressing hard at a spot a few inches above where Kai had stuck Cinder’s vein as he popped the needle out. But in spite of him ecluding the vein, blood began to flow freely from the catheter until Kai clipped the extension on. He let out a string of curses that would surely make his father frown, but Cinder only laughed as Kai twisted the two pieces together.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry,” Darla hushed, fluttering her fingers uselessly. “That’s pretty normal to get some flow. Next time just push harder on the vein.”

“Thanks,” Kai muttered, which only caused Cinder to laugh harder. He taped the catheter to her arm, then picked up some of his gauze and dabbed at her arm. There was blood on his gloves, but it hardly mattered. Everything was a mess of red and Cinder’s laughter, and somehow the latter made the former better.

Kai picked up his saline syringe, pulling the plunger back so as to suck the extra air from the catheter and transfer tube. A line of blood followed it, and only once a drop of red spilled into the syringe did Kai tilt the device forward.

“Alright, before you start the flush, put your hand over the place where the catheter is. Then you can push the plunger slowly— making sure that you don’t feel anything cold— before you carry on.”

Kai did as she told him, feeling nothing as he lightly pressed down on the plunger. He glanced up at Cinder and discovered, to his surprise, that she was watching him, smiling as she did so. When their eyes met, a flush came over her cheeks, but she did not look away.

“Does it feel okay?” Kai asked, and when she responded that it did, he pressed the plunger down with a stronger force until all the saline was emptied from the syringe.

Cinder let out a gasp, and Kai’s head shot up to look at her, his heart skipping a beat. Immediately his hand went to cover the spot where the catheter lay beneath her skin, fearing that there was somehow a leak, or he had screwed something else up and caused her pain.

“Sorry,” Cinder chuckled, grabbing his hand and moving it away from her arm despite the blood upon his gloves. “I forgot that saline tastes like pennies. It’s all metallic right now.”

Kai breathed a sigh of relief, removing the syringe and capping off her transfer device. He placed the clear sticker over the IV, though it was only for the pass-off seeing as he took it off only a minute later. When he removed the catheter, he pulled it extra quickly as instructed, then placed gauze and a bandage over it and finished it off by wrapping the whole thing in hot pink coban.

When he was done, Cinder pulled her arm away, bending it back and forth as if to make sure it still functioned. “You did great,” Cinder praised, her brilliant smile directed at him. “I was worried for a second that you would let me bleed out, but you made fast work getting the attachment hooked up.”

“Those were some of the scariest few seconds of my life,” Kai confessed, pulling off his glove and throwing them in the trash along with the rest of his used and bloody equipment.

“Oh really?”

“Most definitely,” Kai said. It was only then that he realized how close they were, just inches apart really. He didn’t know how they’d gotten so close, but they were. And holy smokes, she smelled really good— like wildflowers in a valley– and her face was all that he could see and–

“Is it my turn now?” Cinder asked, turning her head away abruptly, cheeks tinged pink.

Kai let out an uncomfortable cough, trying to regain his composure as his heart tried to beat right out of his chest. “Uh, yeah, I think it is.”

“Okay,” Cinder mumbled, blinking rapidly as she turned away toward the supply table. Kai watched her go, wondering what on Earth had just happened. Had he been about to… to kiss her?

“Ah, an almost kiss,” said a voice behind him. Kai turned to see Carswell Thorne, neon green coban covering his wrist and an obnoxious smirk on his face. “Because nothing screams love like blood and saline. How romantic.”


	27. Popcorn

"The Lunars need to be allowed to come to Earth, Camilla," Cinder sneered. "They need to be allowed in every kingdom. I'm not saying that we won't keep tabs on them, but we must be welcoming. It's the only way we'll further relationships and establish good terms with Luna."

Camilla sniffed, her dark eyes zeroing in on Cinder. "Just because you're a– a _Lunar_ ," she sneered, "doesn't mean that all Lunars are good. Most of our criminal activity in the past three years has been due to Lunars. Those rampant Mutant Wolf Soldiers or whatever they're called. I'll no longer have them in the United Kingdom. I will no longer stand for such injustice, and neither will my people. I don't care what the rest of you do," she said, glaring at her comrades despite the fact that they were communicating through a D-comm chip. "But the United Kingdom is done with Lunar relations."

Kai held his tongue, in part because Cinder had the situation under control, and also because he knew that if he opened his mouth the only thing that would spill out would be laughter. The pair of them had been going at it for the last ten minutes, running in circles around one another where the issue was concerned. It had been so long since he'd seen Cinder so fired up— he'd almost forgotten how entertaining it was. And, in all honesty, kinda hot.

"What are you going to do?" Cinder asked, throwing her hands in the air. "Kick them out? You have nearly five million Lunars living in the United Kingdom. You can't just send them back. They're not a pair of shoes. You welcomed them to your nation, and now you must deal with the consequences like a diplomat. You are a _queen_ , after all ," Cinder said this last part with a wicked grin. Kai wanted to pull a Thorne and high-five her in front of all the world leaders but withheld.

"Preposterous," Camilla sniffed. "I can't believe that you would dare speak to me in such a manner. You can't blame me for protecting my people."

"No disrespect," Cinder said quite disrespectfully. "But the only thing you seem to be protecting is your ego."

Kai snorted, but played it off as a cough. He'd had many words with Camilla over the years— watched his father and even Torin argue with her— but no one could hand a person's ass to someone like Cinder could, and Kai was living for it.

On their own screens, other world leaders were either blushing or trying and failing to not smile. President Vargas, who Kai had never been particularly fond of but related to now, had his microphone turned off and was full-on laughing at the exchange.

"There are problems in your country," Cinder continued, voice low. "But you can't just run away at the first sign of trouble. Lay down the rules and fix things. Punish those that are deserving of punishment, but don't marginalize a whole group of people Stop discriminating against Lunars. They have the bioelectrical locks as you requested before they were allowed to immigrate. They're just like you. So stop treating them as if they're inferior."

"But the Wolf Soldiers–"

"Need therapy," Cinder cut in, nostrils flaring. "Do you know what kind of messed up things Levana did to those men? They were just children when they were stolen from their families, biologically tampered with, and made to play soldiers. They need help, not banishment."

"Don't you understand?" Cinder asked earnestly, her brow furrowing as she inclined toward the port screen. "These people are damaged and scared. I'm not saying that your people aren't too, but the Lunars lived under a tyrannical queen for too long. Don't cause them to live with more fear than they already have. Don't be their next Levana."

Cinder leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest, making it clear that she was done with her speech. Queen Camilla simply stared, slack-jawed and wide-eyed as Prime Minister Bromstad tried to get a handle on things.

"Next time, warn me before you go off on a tirade," Kai whispered into Cinder's ear. "I didn't have any popcorn."

"Hah hah," Cinder mock-laughed, bumping her shoulder into Kai's, though she looked rather pleased with herself. Her eyes were alight with a sort of mischief and pride that Kai so loved to see.

"Stars, I wish Torin had been here for that one," Kai mumbled, sliding his hand into Cinder's beneath the table. "He hates Camilla even more than you do. You should hear the things he used to call her after he and my dad went to these meetings. That smarmy little–"

"Emperor Kaito, Empress Selene," Kamin cut in, her dark eyes giving the impression of a strict school teacher. "Is there something you'd like to contribute?"

"No," Kai said, drawing out the word in an almost childlike manner. Cinder elbowed him. He winced.

The world leaders continued talking, though Queen Camilla stayed rather quiet throughout the duration of the meeting. They contributed little as well, though more due to the fact that Kai couldn't keep from laughing or quoting some part of Cinder's speech for more than thirty seconds than anything else.

"You're ridiculous," Cinder complained as they left, Kai having just let out another howl of laughter as he remembered the look on the queen's face.

"Oh my stars," Kai wheezed. "I just can't believe you did that. And to think I once thought world leader meetings weren't entertaining."

"I can't believe someone's allowed you to be in charge of the most powerful nation in the world for over three years," Cinder grunted as Kai threw an arm around her.

"Hey, save that biting wit for Camilla."

"You're ridiculous," Cinder laughed, allowing for Kai to kiss her cheek. They turned down the hall and walked into the palace kitchens. "Where are we going?"

"Well we have to tell Torin about your victory," Kai responded, walking to a cupboard and pulling out a pack of kernels. When Cinder placed her hands on her hips, Kai laughed. "And I can't live through that moment again without a nice bowl of popcorn."


End file.
